Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Why I am Exhausted and Why I Never Get Anything Done Around Here

In less than 60 minutes:

Entire box of gallon sized freezer zip top bags - all down the stairs (Nathan's favorite pastime involves the stairs)

2 boxes of jello - one peach flavored and the other strawberry banana (we caught him in the middle of the second box) - the bottom 3 steps and the basement floor

5 slices of bread on the living room floor

Indeterminate number of American Cheese slices torn into tiny pieces and stamped into the carpet

All the couch cushions pulled off both couches

Drank part of and then knocked over daddy's bottle of root beer

Monday, September 28, 2009

Someone Loves Me!

I promise to have lots and lots of bishis for her to help me wash.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Death By Toddler

I suppose my real mistake was answering the phone. This lapse in judgment was further compounded by my sitting down to chat with my husband who called from work. I let myself be distracted - perhaps lulled into a false sense of security by the "fun" dvd I put on for the boys. I don't know how long we chatted - it didn't seem that long - but then I heard an odd sound which caught my interest. As I tried to discern what could make the sound I was hearing, my ears caught another sound - my 4 year old saying "whoa-wow!" and my 2 year old saying "uh oh!". I said it out loud, Matt heard me, "That can't be good . . ." This is what I found when I investigated:

I just bought those eggs. I was going to make cupcakes. OH - and that pink stuff on the floor too? That would be toothpaste. (Add that to the shopping list as well . . . )

Before dinner we accumulated some other messes as well, including emptying a bottle of lotion out on the carpet. And this:

And this:

Visitors to my house will perhaps be relieved to know that we save the toilet paper that is still on the rolls for guests. Nathan has discovered that unrolling the rolls of toilet paper or paper towels down the stairs is not only quiet, but also great fun!

And they are fast! Little opportunists - they always know just the right moment to pull out all the stops. I can't do anything - change a load over, put a letter in the mailbox, go to the bathroom or heaven forbid - answer the phone! I put it all up - higher and higher each day it seems. I feel as if we are in a state of lock down. I have to lock the pantry door or they will clean it out and strew it all over the house. I have to lock my bedroom door (where I have to keep the school lunch supplies or those get eaten - and not for lunch!) because the childproof knob I put on only slows me down, not them. We've gone through two appliance latches on the refrigerator in as many months. I am seriously contemplating a chain and padlock. I jingle like a warden with all the keys I have to carry around my neck on a lanyard so I can access the pantry, my bedroom and unlock the hard drive to the computer when I need to. Seriously - a little solitary confinement is sounding like a welcome break right about now, or at least a little bit more peaceful.

Today I was determined to stay ahead of them instead of two steps behind them. Of course, it helped that Adam had preschool this morning. I was doing pretty good and them perhaps got tripped up by a bit of smugness (or a need to visit the facilities) and Nathan found Jessi's chocolate bar. ***sigh***

After I picked up Adam from prek - I fed them and took them to the park and let them run and play. Then I drove around for 25 minutes on a rolling county road until they fell asleep.

Mom lives to see another day. One battle down, a whole war to go. On my death certificate I am sure the cause of death will be listed as "extreme overexposure to juvenile mischiefmayhemitis".

Monday, September 14, 2009

Sadie Loses her First Tooth

In the middle of Sacrament meeting no less. Nothing like having a bleeding kid at church.

Just in time for Halloween so she can fit in with the Jack O'Lanterns.

In other news, Adam also has a loose tooth - but not because he's old enough to be losing them. **sigh** This is what one must expect with boys I suppose.

Friday, September 11, 2009

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Look at these two sweet faces. Do they look like boys who would cause mischief and mayhem? Do they look like the kind that disaster ensues where-ever they may be about? All the kleenex on the floor behind them - that came from somewhere else.

Look closer. Seriously - would you buy a used car from these two booger-y boys? Would you dare turn your back for a few minutes to start a load in the wash and sort out a few loads?

If you did divert your attention from them for that short space of time, would you expect to find this once you were done with your brief task?

Ten packets of instant oatmeal and chocolate breakfast drink mix. They had started throwing the shoes from the shoe closet down the stairs too when I caught them. While I sucked the mess up with the rather unwilling vacuum cleaner - they started knocking over the pictures in my livingroom and shaking things off the top of the bookshelf.

If I told you I have named them the Destructo Twins because they have more than earned that title just this week - would you believe it?