"Honey, did you remember to round up two zebras for the ark?"

Rain is a season in Missouri - this is a fact I have been aware of for several years now. I actually like rain - though I am kind of strange that way. I also like snow. We're not talking about the white stuff today though. We can accumulate a significant amount of rainfall rather quickly - this season started off with a bang - 13 inches in a 3 day period of time! That was the grand kickoff to rain and flood season a couple weeks ago. When you dump that much rain that fast right off the bat, the next 2 months of rain have no where to go but up.

Imagine our shock to find that today's forecast predicted - you guessed it - lots of rain. I got the older kids up for school and there was a lull in the downpour, so they headed out to the bus stop. Shortly after leaving out the door - a flash and loud crack and down comes the rain! Garrett arrived back inside first. Jessi said the lightening flash and then thunder made him jump. He stuck around until the rain started coming down and then she reported he just took off, running with arms flapping up and down screaming "ahhh! ahhh! ahhh! ahhh!" all the way home. Jess arrived shortly thereafter. She also said that Trent just stood there for a moment, a sad look on his face as he looked upward contemplating the sky and then he continued to the bus stop. That's my boy!

The kids arrival back home presented a new set of issues - one of which being they now needed alternate transportation to school. Jess said she was out of money for cab fare (something about us not giving them allowance) so that meant I had to play chauffeur. Now, it doesn't sound that hard does it? Sure, throw the kids in the car and just drive to school. Well - first, there is the matter of the 3 sleeping children and second, the fact that I am still in my jammies. Sadie has prek on Thursdays, but not until 9. I need to get the older kids to school by 8. Time that Garrett and Jessica returned to our not so sunny doorstep - 7:28 am. Half an hour sounds ample - sure, except for throwing in the tiny detail of them attending two different schools halfway across town from each other and did I mention the 3 sleeping children? Much like Patton mobilizing the troops for battle - though with significantly less precision and organization, okay, not at all like Patton or the troops, and there were definitely no inspirational speeches - except for the large group of people, the similarity still holds there - wait, where was I? Oh yeah - I woke and dressed 3 children who were less than amused at being ripped from their blissful slumber and protested loudly. Changed two diapers, made a bottle for the baby. Located one missing shoe, brushed my teeth and hair and got dressed. Strapped the baby into his car seat. Strapped the preschooler into her booster. Strapped the pre-preschooler into his car seat. Located the booster for the 1st grader, put it back in the van and let him strap himself in. Grabbed umbrella. Dropped Jess off at the middle school and got Garrett to the elementary school by 8:12 am. Slightly late - but fortunate that the downpour had delayed a bus or two. When the buses are late - as long as you get there before them, no tardies. Whew. I was pretty impressed with myself (and my little bit of luck of not having to sign Garrett in for being late). Ahhhhh, hubris - but we'll get back to that a little later. Drove to the prek for Sadie and then sat there reading my book that I thought to grab on the way out while we waited 40 minutes for her school to start. Just call me Wonder Woman! (Again, the hubris thing - not much longer now . . .) There was no way I was unloading and reloading the kids after already having done so once in less than an hour, so I figured we would just park and wait and I came prepared. The rain continued to pour down. At last, after passing the time by answering Sadie's question "Is it time yet?" every five minutes, it was time to get out and take Sadie into her class. Except - it is still dumping rain and the wind is blowing so hard that is practically coming down sideways. Dilemma - do I spend several minutes with my fanny hanging out of the car in the rain unstrapping the boys and then carrying them and an umbrella with a preschooler in tow in the rain to the building and back, or do I do the bad mommy thing? Shhhhh - don't tell anyone, I left the boys in the car and ran Sadie to the school and then ran back to the car. Now, lest you feel I was going to get away with something devious or being consumed in my pride - let me assure you I was promptly put in my place by the fates or karma or more accurately, Mother Nature. (Completely off the subject here - but why do they call it Mother Nature? Surely a fellow mother would not be so cruel to a compatriot in arms - again with the military comparisons) I hopped back into the car, closed up the umbrella and pulled it into the car across my front to put on the floor beside me. BIG mistake. No, make that huge, colossal, even a monumental mistake (did I miss any synonyms there?). Though I am certain I had adequately returned the umbrella to it's closed and locked position, for some inexplicable reason just as I drew it across my lap it started to open - yes, right there in the front seat, in my lap, between me and the steering wheel. Now - this is not some lightweight, compact stow in your back pocket umbrella - oh no! I got the mega huge, walking stick when closed fit your whole family and a herd of sheep under it when open sized umbrella - and a very wet mega huge, etc etc umbrella at that. Now, as all of you are well aware - umbrellas don't open slowly, no, they open with a quick POP! and there you go. So, my mega huge mega wet wonder umbrella pops open in my lap and rain water flies everywhere. I wrestle with the beast, trying to close it, trying to minimize the water damage to little avail. My front is now completely soaked from shoulders to knees.

I drive home, very wet and very cold and feeling rather humbled. By the time I pulled into the garage - the rain had stopped.

Figures.