Logistical Nightmare (Or why I hated Math Word Problems in High School)

One family, two adults and six children. Children A-C all have soccer practices. Two of them have practices that begin at 5 pm. One has practice at 5:15 (child B). They practice on 2 different fields in different locations. Practices for Child A & Child B end at 6:30. Child C's practice ends at 6pm. Adult One is assistant coach to Child A and Child B's soccer teams that practice at the same time in different locations (Adult Two questions the efficacy of this arrangement.) Child D has a school play. Child D must be at school at 6:10pm nicely dressed and the performance begins at 6:30pm. Everyone typically eats at 6 pm every evening. Child C and Child D must be met at bus stop at 3:40pm. Child B has Honor Choir after school and needs to be picked up at 4:15 pm. Adult Two has Choir Carpool this month and Seminary Carpool this week. Adult Two will arrive home from Choir Carpool at 4:45pm. Child B also has a job walking dogs after school from 4-5pm. Child F is scheduled for daily hungry and tired-because-I-refused-to-take-a-nap meltdown at 4:30pm. Both Child E and Child F are on schedule for massive diaper blowouts between 3:30pm and 5 pm. One or both should occur after being strapped into minivan and when Adult Two is already running 5 minutes late. If bedtime is at 8 pm, how long will it take for Adult Two to be absolutely drooling, completely insane?