Desperate Mothering

You Make Me Nuts!

2010-01-26T15:26:00.002-06:00

This morning my almost 3 year old said no less than three times that he was a psychopath. I kid you not - he said "I psychopath" as he headed down the stairs to the garage. Again as he headed to the basement to watch his daily dose of Dora the Explorer; and yet again as I strapped him into his car seat to run errands. Maybe I need my hearing checked - but it is moments like these where you flash forward 15 years and hope that this is the kid you are going to be proud to unleash upon society as he hits adulthood, or fear will be the one atop a bell tower with a high powered rifle screaming "Why didn' t you let me watch Spongebob mom??!!". Parenting is such a leap of faith. I can't help but wish for that crystal ball that would let me gaze into the future and see the end results of my efforts - whether those efforts be brilliant or completely inept - giving me a chance to continue or change. Because once you get to the end, there is no rewind. I can't take back those words spoken in frustration or impatience. I can't give more attention to make up for a past lack. Too much or not enough? For all my grand intentions, if I miss something, even just one thing, one seemingly small innocuous thing through ignorance or choice, will it be the one defining thing that makes all the difference?

******************************************************

Flik: Here, pretend - pretend that that's a seed.
Dot: It's a rock.
Flik: Oh, I know it's a rock, I know. But let's just pretend for a minute that it's a seed, alright? We'll just use our imaginations. Now, now do you see our tree? Everything that made that giant tree is already contained inside this tiny little seed. All it needs is some time, a little bit of sunshine and rain, and voilá!
Dot: This rock will be a tree?
Flik: Seed to tree. You've gotta work with me, here. Alright? Okay. Now, y-you might not feel like you can do much now, but that's just because, well, you're not a tree yet. You just have to give yourself some time. You're still a seed.
Dot: But it's a rock.
Flik: [shouting] I know it's a rock! Don't you think I know a rock when I see a rock? I've spent a lot of time around rocks!
Dot: You're weird, but I like you.
(From "Bug's Life", Disney/Pixar)

*********************************************************

When I feel like I am beating my head against a rock, I just want to be assured that I am growing trees. For all the weirdness, the stinky-ness, the mess and uncertainty - I like them, I really do. Time, a little bit of sunshine and rain . . . and hope.

2010-01-15T14:45:00.001-06:00

Dear Driver waiting for my parking space at Walmart,

While I understand that parking and hoofing it in from the back 40 is a pain and time consuming (I have soooooooooooooo been there - dragging/carrying my juvenile posse along, with a 40 lb diaper bag, in the pouring rain), please note the capaciousness of my vehicle and shopping cart and observe that I have maxed out both in personnel and supplies. Based on that, I would think a less patient person would move along, taking his chances with another parking space; but since you are determined to park in the specific spot that I currently occupy, a little suggestion if I might? Unless you are prepared to either a) get out and help me load groceries or b) wrestle my toddler into his car seat as he seemingly sprouts 11 additional sets of arms/legs and commences screaming and kicking; accept that this is going to take some time.

And no, YOU DO NOT get to honk at me.

Sincerely,
crazy lady with the plethora of kids and enough groceries for a platoon who is beginning to develop performance anxiety as the cars line up behind you

The Guest Blogger: Jessi Topic: My Birthday

2009-12-05T13:03:00.014-06:00

Okay to all you people I am Jessi, Jessica, whatever but I am the guest blogger today. Unlike it being my mom it is going to be ME!!! My topic is my birthday which was Wednesday, December 2, 2009..... I am now thirteen an official teenager! So here are some pictures with some captions below them. (hint hint below the picture!)

Earrings from Schuck Grandparents

Watch from Schuck Grandparents

Watch attachment also from Schuck Grandparents

The amazing polka dotted quilt

BOOK!!!!!!!! PHOTOGRAPHY!!!

Awesome blowdryer with atatchments

this is from my friend Brooklyn

PURPLE POLKA DOTTED PAJAMA PANTS!!! (From Brooklyn)

MY Yummy Pavlova Cake thingy!

I have been known for my Big Mouth! lol!!
This was my birthday I didn't get a picture with my card from my McCrary Grandparents but I did like it!!!! Luv, Grandma Donna, and "Big Chief"........... it's a long story! Well, not really but anyway you get the point....... hopefully!
OH!!! And all my presents I loved I was just making funny faces..... I am known for that!

Pumpkins, Fairies and Skeletons - Oh My!

2009-11-06T19:27:00.007-06:00

Some of you may recall our pumpkin mischief and mayhem from last year. I am pleased to report that everyone participated this year in the carving, including Trent - I have photographic evidence.

Nathan actually put his hands inside a pumpkin this year and pulled out one handful of seeds and pulp, said "Yucky!" and was happy to let Jessi take care of the rest.

Adam preferred to just inspect again this year.

Sadie is my get-to-it girl - she just dives right in.

In the excitement of Halloween and Trick or Treating - I didn't get pictures taken of the kids. (I forgot!) The night of our church Trunk or Treat, Garrett got "lost" for almost an hour and so we were rushed trying to get out the door once he did show up after we scoured the neighborhood for him and I didn't have to call the police. Frayed nerves - not conducive to remembering to grab the camera. THEN, I forgot again the second night when they went door to door! Shame on me! Bad mama! So, when the kids asked what we were doing for FHE on Monday, I told them dressing up in our costumes again and taking pictures - YAY! They were slightly less enthused about this than I thought they would be. In fact, Trent was so excited to get dressed up in his Indiana Jones get up again, he decided to take a nap and slept through it all. His costume was awesomely cool too - I got all the stuff from Goodwill including the leather jacket! (great deal on leather at Goodwill I might add.) Took me a week to find "the hat" which would have been easy had I had enough time just to order one online. Ah well, c'est la vie I suppose. At least I know what he wants to be next year already (Charlie Chaplin) and so I have plenty of time to get the Bowler hat he wants for that. The bull whip was the best part though - Trent made it out of duct tape following this tutorial I found on line. Walmart had duct tape in every color of the rainbow, except the dark brown I wanted. We opted for black. Very cool! Eventually there may be a picture.

Adam aka Mr. Bones. Both Adam and Nathan were skeletons this year. They looked cute together. Unfortunately, Nathan fell asleep after being very crabby about being put into his skeleton costume again.

Sadie is a flower fairy. That bit of pink skirt is all that is left of my prom dress from junior year. It didn't fit anymore anyway and I haven't had need for a prom dress in quite some time now.

Jessica was a black and white ballerina and made her costume herself! That excited me to no end let me tell you - one less costume to make!

Close up of the mask she made. I think she did an awesome job!

Garrett was a wizard and was also seriously not enthused about getting dressed up until I gave him a pencil (he lost the wand I made him) and said cast a spell on your sisters. He is only wearing half of his costume and it was painful enough just to get him to put this half on.

One wee skeleton tucked in his bed - too tired from Trick or Treating.

We had a ton of candy. Now all that's left is the Whoppers and the Tootsie Rolls. I will gladly hand it out to any late "Trick or Treaters" who might happen by - costumes optional.

The Kitchen Faucet Leaks

2009-11-03T22:52:00.001-06:00

I suppose I can fit under the sink much easier than I did under the dashboard of my car.

**sigh**

We Have Air and it Blows!!!

2009-11-02T16:59:00.002-06:00

This is the blower motor I took out of my van. I had air/heat - it just didn't blow out into the vehicle and the windows being fogged up didn't help safe driving. Now it blows but good. For the record - changing a blower motor out is not really difficult, just a pain in the neck. (I would also add pain in the back, pain in the hip and I am pretty sure I threw my left shoulder out as well) Why you might ask? Because the blower motor is situated behind the glove box and underneath the dash. There is not a lot of room behind the glove box and underneath the dash. There is however, a lot of bolts you have to undo. Lots of bolts that require tools and tools that barely fit. The person operating the tools must also be able to fit up under the dash. That person must fight with the passenger seat, the dash and the passenger side door. This person is not a leprechaun. A leprechaun might fit, my two year old might have fit - me, not so much. I had to kneel on the ground beside the car and then twist/climb in backwards and headfirst. I'm sure the neighbors felt this a great treat to see me half hanging out of the car in our driveway. I'm sure they would have also enjoyed the few choice words I had to say about the accessibility (read: INaccessibility) of said blower motor. Once you have all the bolts out and the motor unplugged - the blower comes out quite easily, in fact, it falls out - which doesn't bode well if your face is directly underneath.

This is the mess that Nathan made while I was changing the blower motor. Jessi is relieved we are not having spaghetti for dinner tonight - she doesn't like spaghetti. Jessi likes Nathan. I like air that blows.

(And if I never, ever, ever have to do that job again - I will like it even better.)

Monday's To Do List Tuesday Recap

2009-10-20T15:11:00.003-05:00

Aside from the 176,892 loads of laundry and uploading the photos (okay, and the yelling - I have to admit to a wee bit of yelling) - I got through my to do list.

Washer working again.

After fussing and fretting a bit (since they put that darn resistor in a spot that is almost impossible to work in unless you have hands the size of a 2 year old and are double jointed), I got the new blower motor resistor installed in the van. Unfortunately, it is not the resistor that is the problem, but a $12 resistor vs an $80 motor seemed a better place to start. Especially since the motor is not a job I can do. (Dismantling my dashboard and then having to put it all back together again and have all those knobs, buttons and the radio work again afterward doesn't sound like something I want to dive into without my dad or an expert helping me.) Just my luck I lost that gamble. Though, I will say the old resistor didn't look so hot anyway, so we probably are better off.

We chased the dog who got loose around the neighborhood while I was covered in car grime and I proclaimed her the stupidest dog on the planet - which I assured her was not a good thing. At that point my 4 year old asked me if I was at crazy yet.

Oh honey, been and gone - been and gone . . . .

Off to do a lot of laundry now. If you don't hear from me in a while - send help. (and bleach)

Monday To Do List

2009-10-19T10:55:00.003-05:00

Take apart washing machine again - install new spring, check other springs since I think I popped another one

Do 176,892 loads of wash (it really isn't that much, but sure seems like it)

Put brake fluid in car

Schedule appt to get blower motor resistor (please be the resistor, please be the resistor - not be the motor) fixed on van so I can at least defog my windows so I can see to drive - heat would be nice too (and a/c next summer as well . . .) OR find online tutorial so can DIY, find source for resistor

Attend two parent teacher conferences

Find the key I had made to unlock my bedroom door which I had to lock to keep the kids out of the stuff I don't want them to get into, which now I cannot get to either

Upload pictures of the latest messes the kids made (two words: cake flour) and the potatoes we grew in our garden

Make dinner

Have fun FHE with kids

Survive putting kids to bed

Keep repeating mantra "I will not yell; I will not yell; I will not yell - I WILL NOT YELL DANG IT YOU GET BACK HERE RIGHT NOW AND STOP BUGGING YOUR BROTHER BEFORE I LOSE MY MIND . . . . I will not yell; I will not yell"

October 15th - Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day

2009-10-15T15:22:00.004-05:00

Always Remembered
~i~ ~i~ ~i~ ~i~ ~i~ ~i~ ~i~

Why I am Exhausted and Why I Never Get Anything Done Around Here

2009-09-30T15:26:00.003-05:00

In less than 60 minutes:

Entire box of gallon sized freezer zip top bags - all down the stairs (Nathan's favorite pastime involves the stairs)

2 boxes of jello - one peach flavored and the other strawberry banana (we caught him in the middle of the second box) - the bottom 3 steps and the basement floor

5 slices of bread on the living room floor

Indeterminate number of American Cheese slices torn into tiny pieces and stamped into the carpet

All the couch cushions pulled off both couches

Drank part of and then knocked over daddy's bottle of root beer

Someone Loves Me!

2009-09-28T16:28:00.002-05:00

I promise to have lots and lots of bishis for her to help me wash.

Death By Toddler

2009-09-22T21:44:00.003-05:00

I suppose my real mistake was answering the phone. This lapse in judgment was further compounded by my sitting down to chat with my husband who called from work. I let myself be distracted - perhaps lulled into a false sense of security by the "fun" dvd I put on for the boys. I don't know how long we chatted - it didn't seem that long - but then I heard an odd sound which caught my interest. As I tried to discern what could make the sound I was hearing, my ears caught another sound - my 4 year old saying "whoa-wow!" and my 2 year old saying "uh oh!". I said it out loud, Matt heard me, "That can't be good . . ." This is what I found when I investigated:

I just bought those eggs. I was going to make cupcakes. OH - and that pink stuff on the floor too? That would be toothpaste. (Add that to the shopping list as well . . . )

Before dinner we accumulated some other messes as well, including emptying a bottle of lotion out on the carpet. And this:

And this:

Visitors to my house will perhaps be relieved to know that we save the toilet paper that is still on the rolls for guests. Nathan has discovered that unrolling the rolls of toilet paper or paper towels down the stairs is not only quiet, but also great fun!

And they are fast! Little opportunists - they always know just the right moment to pull out all the stops. I can't do anything - change a load over, put a letter in the mailbox, go to the bathroom or heaven forbid - answer the phone! I put it all up - higher and higher each day it seems. I feel as if we are in a state of lock down. I have to lock the pantry door or they will clean it out and strew it all over the house. I have to lock my bedroom door (where I have to keep the school lunch supplies or those get eaten - and not for lunch!) because the childproof knob I put on only slows me down, not them. We've gone through two appliance latches on the refrigerator in as many months. I am seriously contemplating a chain and padlock. I jingle like a warden with all the keys I have to carry around my neck on a lanyard so I can access the pantry, my bedroom and unlock the hard drive to the computer when I need to. Seriously - a little solitary confinement is sounding like a welcome break right about now, or at least a little bit more peaceful.

Today I was determined to stay ahead of them instead of two steps behind them. Of course, it helped that Adam had preschool this morning. I was doing pretty good and them perhaps got tripped up by a bit of smugness (or a need to visit the facilities) and Nathan found Jessi's chocolate bar. ***sigh***

After I picked up Adam from prek - I fed them and took them to the park and let them run and play. Then I drove around for 25 minutes on a rolling county road until they fell asleep.

Mom lives to see another day. One battle down, a whole war to go. On my death certificate I am sure the cause of death will be listed as "extreme overexposure to juvenile mischiefmayhemitis".

Sadie Loses her First Tooth

2009-09-14T17:00:00.004-05:00

In the middle of Sacrament meeting no less. Nothing like having a bleeding kid at church.

Just in time for Halloween so she can fit in with the Jack O'Lanterns.

In other news, Adam also has a loose tooth - but not because he's old enough to be losing them. **sigh** This is what one must expect with boys I suppose.

September 11th

2009-09-11T22:07:00.001-05:00

Adam's First Day PreK

2009-09-08T09:58:00.003-05:00

2009-09-06T17:31:00.003-05:00

Look at these two sweet faces. Do they look like boys who would cause mischief and mayhem? Do they look like the kind that disaster ensues where-ever they may be about? All the kleenex on the floor behind them - that came from somewhere else.

Look closer. Seriously - would you buy a used car from these two booger-y boys? Would you dare turn your back for a few minutes to start a load in the wash and sort out a few loads?

If you did divert your attention from them for that short space of time, would you expect to find this once you were done with your brief task?

Ten packets of instant oatmeal and chocolate breakfast drink mix. They had started throwing the shoes from the shoe closet down the stairs too when I caught them. While I sucked the mess up with the rather unwilling vacuum cleaner - they started knocking over the pictures in my livingroom and shaking things off the top of the bookshelf.

If I told you I have named them the Destructo Twins because they have more than earned that title just this week - would you believe it?

First Day of School - 8/13/09

2009-08-24T12:11:00.005-05:00

I seem to be perpetually running behind. Yes, school started back up over a week ago. While other mothers managed to get grinning photos of their progeny plastered all over their blogs within 24 hours, here I am just managing to get around to mine.

No photos of Trent - we got up really early to take him to marching band practice. Here is Jessi, Sadie and Garrett all ready for school on their first day. It took me a few tries to get at least most of them smiling.

Here we are walking to the bus stop

Here we are waiting at the bus stop (Jessi rides a different bus that stops at a different corner.)

Here we are still waiting for the bus

And here we are walking home when it became apparent we missed the bus

In the car, ready to go to school for our first day!

I am slowly reclaiming my house from the busy summer and waiting for Adam to start PreK!

Tales of Woe and Dessert

2009-07-27T17:09:00.003-05:00

The hard drive on my laptop bit the dust - again! Just a mere few months after it crashed and burned the last time. My back up file from our external hard drive has gone MIA and along with it and the now defunct drive - all my files (pictures, music - including the new stuff for the Youth Dances I spent hours to put together, and my document files - my stories I've been working on the last several years). My only hope is that my dad, computer guru of the universe who can fix anything, can spin write my old drive (since it tells me now it is inaccessible) and salvage something. There have been a great many tears of frustration and distress over this technological mishap. So, I did what I do best in times of stress and despair - I made dessert!

This little lovely is a recipe introduced to me by a very dear, very sweet friend from my newlywed college days. A wonderful lady from Down Under, and an equally fabulous dessert. I haven't made it in awhile, and for the life of me, can't think of a good reason why! It's called a Pavlova and there is some hot debate over who exactly is responsible for it - Australia or New Zealand, but what is not contested is that it is named after the Russian Ballerina Anna Pavlova who toured both in the mid 20's. Essentially this is a large meringue with a lot of whipped cream and fruit. I have made this at Christmas time also and substituted crushed peppermints for the fruit and sprinkled grated chocolate over that - very yum. We ate half of it last night and the rest was gone by lunchtime today! Enjoy the pictures - come visit me and I will make it for you to enjoy in person. (please excuse pictures though - I am still trying to figure out my camera settings - grrrrrrrr)

15 Candles

2009-07-10T19:21:00.004-05:00

When your oldest turns 15 and wants 15 candles on his cake - this is what you get:

Count 'em - 15! For those who are interested - the cake was Chocolate cherry. It kind of turned out a little strange - really really gooey, but tasted alright. Trent didn't seem to mind. He's trying to earn money for his band trip to Florida and DisneyWorld next year, so no presents to open. I did drop him and a friend off at the movie theatre to see the new Tran.sformers movie and he really enjoyed that. Already talking about driving and what kind of car he wants (Dodge Charger) Yeah - good luck with that!

For a blast from the past on this same topic (Trent) - click here.

(and yes, his birthday was last month, the 29th - but he was due in July, so no razzing!)

Cupcakes & Cousins

2009-07-09T12:38:00.004-05:00

Drama Queen

2009-07-08T13:45:00.004-05:00

For Summer School, Sadie chose to be in the "Princess and the Pea" class. This particular Summer School class covered all aspects of putting on a play - auditions, casting, rehearsals, sets, advertising, costumes, programs and of course, performance! She really had a good time and proudly brought me home a personal invitation that she made inviting me to see her perform. Sadie was cast as a flower girl and I brought my camera eagerly looking forward to taking pictures of her on stage. One of our small area newspapers also came and the play made the paper. Enjoy!

Summer Bounty

2009-07-07T11:49:00.005-05:00

I looked in my garden and what did I see?

A yellow squash, ready to eat!

I chopped it up and threw it in a pan with some Italian Sausage, zucchini, garlic, diced tomatoes and onions (which also came from our garden). I seasoned it with some French herbs - Chervil, Lavender, Tarragon and fresh parsley and served it over Quinoa. No picture of the Quinoa - it is pretty dull to look at. The broth was so good and the Quinoa soaked it up nicely. The kids were not as impressed as I was with this - but poked at it and nibbled a bit with very mild interest (mild bordering on dis-interest - sigh). Even when I told them that we grew some of the stuff in it - I got a few "that's neat" mumbles and that was it.

What the kids did find very interesting was the fresh pineapple and strawberries I cut up to go with dinner. Fruit Salad - yummy, yummy!

Soon to come: pictures of Sadie's Summer School play (which made one of the little regional papers!), Trent's birthday, a very belated Garrett's birthday and to illustrate even further how behind and what a slacker I am - Easter!

Happy Independence Day!

2009-07-04T22:34:00.006-05:00

What would the 4th be without Fireworks? This year we had two extra kidlets at our house - our cousins, Gwynn and Sylvia, to share in the fun and fireworks!

Nathan: Hey mom! I'm gonna get a sparkler!

Gwynn likes Sparklers

Garrett likes Sparklers

The camera likes sparklers

(I was trying to get a picture of Gwynn,Sadie and Nathan enjoying their sparklers. Adam ran up with his sparkler right in front of the camera just as I snapped the picture. OOPS!
Guess I better take off the portrait setting!)

Daddy lighting more Sparklers

Next we had fun with Poppers. The kids LOVED them! I loved trying to get pictures of the kids in focus as they ran around flinging Poppers on the ground like crazy people. Guess I better figure out that setting on the camera too . . .

The kids loved the fireworks. Nathan and Adam really liked the spinners. Adam kept saying "Wow-ow!" and Nathan just laughed and laughed. I could NOT get a picture of the spinners to save my life - miserable blurry and half the time they shot out of the frame just as I snapped the picture. I did a little better with the fountains. Even then, those sparks come flying out so fast! This first one shot up really high - it was so cool! I tried to get pictures of our other fountain - it shot out different blobs of color and was really neat, but all my shots were a blurry mess. These were the best ones.

Happy 4th of July!

Sinus Surgery Superhero Meets Bacterial Kryptonite

2009-06-10T23:16:00.002-05:00

Low grade fever, chills, all over body aches = 10 day course of antibiotics.

Nothing like a post-op infection to kick a superhero's hiney and hamper any serious recovering.

I just want to say I love my oldest daughter! (I love all my kids of course!) Jessi has been an amazing help and has taken over in the afternoons looking after the little ones so I can rest and recover quicker.

Matt and Trent are in Kentucky this week - they always miss out on all the fun.

Tonight it was Flash Flood and Tornado warnings. The kids and I hung out in the basement and watched a movie during all the "excitement". We watched "Men in Black" and Sadie commented that she was glad she has never seen a cockroach as big as the bug in the movie. I am very grateful for that also!

Sunday Special - June 7th

2009-06-07T12:03:00.004-05:00

Sinus Surgery Suggests Superhero Shenanigans

Batman only wishes he were as cool . . .

Today's Sunday Special brought to you by the letter "S" and by:

Saline Spray and Starlight mints.

Nathan's Adventures in Same Day Surgery

2009-05-27T21:59:00.007-05:00

I had to get up really early.

Got my binky

And my zebra buddy - they gave me new buddies too, a couple of frogs!

I helped take this picture - see my finger?

They also gave me this really nifty bracelet for my ankle - I kept trying to take it off. Sadie drew smiley faces on my legs so that I would remember to smile.

"Ready to go?" the nurse asks. My part was easy, I got to sleep!

Afterward, mommy held me until I was ready to go home. Here I am in the car - new tubes in my ears, I can hear! I'm all ready to go now - got my buddies, my blanky, my binky, and my cup of juice.

The end

Sadie Rose Turns 6! (Belated Birthday Post)

2009-05-11T11:49:00.006-05:00

Yes, I am a bum - a blogging bum. I plead camera woes. I plead scheduling woes. I plead my camera batteries died and I can't find the cord woes. I plead exhaustion. What??!! You say you don't care? You say you need your fix of cute little Schucklets - because what is witty prose in the face of such scrumptious chubby-cheeked cuteness? Okay . . . please accept my apologies for being a blogging bum and as a show of good will, I give you the following pictures to satiate your cravings for all things winsome. (And no, I did not save you a piece of cake - remember, I'm a bum!)

You may have noticed the wardrobe change. Poor Sadie, her birthday fell on Wednesday! Wednesday night is Cub Scouts, Young Woman and Older Scouts (and daddy gone to Scouts). We celebrated in shifts. I let her open one of her presents right after dinner before everyone left. Then I got them in pajamas (or not - since cake was involved!) and when everyone was home again, we finished our party.

As you can see, lots of pink, princesses and ladybugs! All things Sadie!

The Cake

Mama said use my spoon.

Now we are Six

Happy Birthday 6th SadieBug LadyBug
April 15th, 2009

(Now, that should hold you until I can get the Easter pictures up. No whining!)

Sunday Special - ala Monday May 12th

2009-05-11T11:28:00.004-05:00

After 4 years and 22 broken brackets - bracefree as of 5/5.

Now we just have to make sure he wears his retainer like he's suppose to!

Sunday Special ala Monday - April 13th

2009-04-13T18:25:00.002-05:00

Before

After

I documented Adam's propensity for peeling in a prior post. (If you click the link - be prepared for more of an almost 3 year old clad only in a diaper with strips of wallpaper). In preparation for refinancing our home and locking in a nice low FIXED rate - we decided it was time to do something about the peeled and graffitied kitchen walls for the appraisal. Adam peeled and Sadie drew. I forgot that I wanted to take a picture of her gerbil people before they were forever painted over - they use to make me so happy. Gerbil people make me smile. Oh well.

I think it looks nice - definitely a great deal better!

So, for now, my kitchen walls look much improved!

Logistical Nightmare (Or why I hated Math Word Problems in High School)

2009-04-07T09:21:00.005-05:00

One family, two adults and six children. Children A-C all have soccer practices. Two of them have practices that begin at 5 pm. One has practice at 5:15 (child B). They practice on 2 different fields in different locations. Practices for Child A & Child B end at 6:30. Child C's practice ends at 6pm. Adult One is assistant coach to Child A and Child B's soccer teams that practice at the same time in different locations (Adult Two questions the efficacy of this arrangement.) Child D has a school play. Child D must be at school at 6:10pm nicely dressed and the performance begins at 6:30pm. Everyone typically eats at 6 pm every evening. Child C and Child D must be met at bus stop at 3:40pm. Child B has Honor Choir after school and needs to be picked up at 4:15 pm. Adult Two has Choir Carpool this month and Seminary Carpool this week. Adult Two will arrive home from Choir Carpool at 4:45pm. Child B also has a job walking dogs after school from 4-5pm. Child F is scheduled for daily hungry and tired-because-I-refused-to-take-a-nap meltdown at 4:30pm. Both Child E and Child F are on schedule for massive diaper blowouts between 3:30pm and 5 pm. One or both should occur after being strapped into minivan and when Adult Two is already running 5 minutes late. If bedtime is at 8 pm, how long will it take for Adult Two to be absolutely drooling, completely insane?

Sunday Special - April 5th

2009-04-04T19:50:00.003-05:00

Stressful week. Six soccer games, 5 soccer practices, General Conference, City-wide Clean-up Weekend and getting the house ready for the appraisal this coming week. (Not to mention Matt was on a business trip this past week.)

But, I do have a picture for you. Jessica took this one and I thought it was kind of cool.

Enjoy!

(P.S. The plants seemed to have survived our wacky snow from last weekend.)

Sunday Special - March 29th

2009-03-28T22:59:00.005-05:00

No kids this Special. They are tucked warmly into their beds. (and they better stay there and be quiet and go to sleep!!)

Jessica and I went to the Young Women General Broadcast tonight. We've had rain off and on for the last two days. (Coincidentally - the same two days that Matt and his scouts have been camping. My newly organized and cleaned laundry got clobbered with wet, campfire smelling stuff about 10 seconds after they walked in the door. **sigh**) While we were at the church the rain turned to this stuff:

Check out the size of some of those snowflakes! Heavy, heavy wet snow - the kind that makes a mucky mess and sprays up when you drive through it - just like hitting a puddle. Only, instead of putting up a spray of water, it's like getting hit with a heavy wall of slush.

Just hours earlier, I took pictures of this:

Those are my Bleeding Hearts - they've been enjoying the bit of rain and sunny, mild temps this week and came out in colorful profusion. Hope they like slushy snow.

Adam's 4th Birthday

2009-03-26T15:10:00.008-05:00

A picture paints a thousand words . . . .

I think Sadie drew herself sad because her birthday isn't until next month. She drew their ages on their crowns.

Time for Cake

The kids make fun of my cake decorating attempts. Those chocolate brick things are supposed to be the trash blocks that Wall*E makes. (I will take any opportunity to add more chocolate if I can!) The kids called them "Wall*E poop". They also posed the cake toppers. To me it looks like Eve is pointing to the bricks and saying "Did you make this mess?" and Wall*E is saying "Who me? I didn't do it!"

The light green trim looked better before the kids started poking their fingers into it. I tried to fix it. It didn't fix so well.

Nathan really enjoys cake. And ice cream.

Presents

Happy 4th Birthday Adam!!!!

Sunday Special - March 22nd

2009-03-21T18:25:00.002-05:00

With the weather starting to turn warmer, we started gearing up to put in our garden for the year. This year we are growing corn, beets, spinach, carrots, onions, broccoli, potatoes, lettuce, tomatoes (roma & grape included), green beans, peas, eggplant, yellow and zucchini squash and of course, watermelon. (I may have forgotten an item or two - oh, yeah - radishes! and sunflowers!) Our gardening efforts in years past have been hampered by extremely wet seasons and the clay that runs rampant in our back yard, but we are determined this year. We staked out a different part of the yard with good sun and good drainage. The kids are excited and looking forward to seeing everything growing. I am hoping to be able to use my big ol' canner this year for something other than making mashed potatoes in at Thanksgiving.

Some preliminary garden pictures:

Jessica telling Adam the different seeds we started.

Garrett and Matt putting in the onion starts.

Sadie's job was dandelion eradication. She was very good at it.

She also made a worm farm. (or at least that was what she told me this was.)

Hoping to have some growing veggies pictures to come soon!

Sunday Special - March 15th

2009-03-14T15:30:00.008-05:00

Did you know Rolla boasts the third largest St. Patrick's Day Parade in the state of Missouri? You didn't? Don't feel bad, neither did I, until this year! The local university has been holding St. Patrick's Day celebrations for 101 years! This is big stuff around here. The high school marching band participated in the parade and so I dropped Trent off and took Sadie and Garrett to watch the parade.

This is Sadie before the parade. She ran into some friends. I got a big kick out of seeing them all together - they would recognize someone and yell and scream and wave. Then they would hug and stand all together chatting excitedly.

Here are some pictures from the parade. The parade was really quite good and lasted over an hour and a half!

No St. Patrick's Day Parade would be complete without a Bagpipe Band.

Or St. Patrick himself!

This band was really neat - not one single instrument! They just had drum sticks and used buckets, a bike rack, shopping cart and trash cans to make music.

There were many bands - from the big to the small. Sadie and I really liked this guy's hat and sang along to the music.

I wasn't sure what to make of these at first. There were a lot of guys carrying what basically were long tree stumps throughout the parade and also these painted ones. After we came home, I looked up on the local website (yes, they take it that seriously around here!) and these are cudgels. Part of the celebrations involve a cudgel carry - basically, they carry these big stumps on their shoulders and race each other. Some of them were HUGE!

The girls here are carrying shillelaghs. This is also part of the university's celebrations. The students whittle their own shillelaghs and they have a snake driving activity.

I have a soft spot for fire trucks (Happy Birthday Ben!!)

I also have a soft spot for the Air Force too. (Shout out to Josh!)

No Marine Corps. (Sorry dad!)

Though, despite all the funny cars, the clowns, St. Patrick, the awesome bands and so many other neat and fun floats - what we really came to see was this:

Unfortunately, I was on the opposite side from Trent. He really is in there! See if you can spot him. He's directly center of the picture and in the row behind; you can see his profile between the kid with the xylophone and the kid with the sax. The only other picture I got of him was the back of his hat - they moved by us pretty quickly.

Sadie, Garrett and I really enjoyed the parade. The weather was perfect and I got some pretty good pictures of it all. These are just a tiny portion of all I took.

Last but not least - since most of my pictures from the parade of him were of the back of his head, here is a picture of Garrett displaying some of his parade spoils.

(As a post script, Jessi has her first "real" babysitting job tonight! She was totally excited; I am a bit melancholic **sniff**)

How to Make Indoor Snow Angels

2009-03-10T15:00:00.002-05:00

Required:

One 12 year old wanting instant potatoes
One busy 2 year old who is into everything
One crazy precocious and inventive 5 year old
One box Instant Potato Flakes

I leave the rest to your imagination . . . though, I will say, plan on seriously needing a vacuum cleaner afterward.

Sunday Special - March 8th

2009-03-08T21:24:00.003-05:00

Today's Sunday Special provided to you by Trent. He didn't drop the camera this time, though my recently purchased camera batteries were completely dead when I tried to use it.

**sigh**

I'm not sure whether to be impressed with a somewhat nice and artistic shot - or dismayed that he risked ~~dropping another camera~~ falling off the roof.

A Cautionary Tale

2009-03-03T08:36:00.005-06:00

(I am posting this here as well as on my Infertility and Loss blog, so those of you who read both will experience a sense of deja vu)

I typically joke when my husband is heading off on a business trip that I am always sick or will get sick and some disaster will ensue. Two Christmases ago it was the car accident that totaled our van and broke my foot. Many years ago, just over 12 - it was ending up in the hospital with a complete placenta previa that was abrupting while my spouse was in Texas. Another trip of his to Texas was when I had the worst asthma attack of my adult years, a 2 year old with RSV and a doctor who only agreed not to hospitalize me provided I found an adult to take care of me and I got my O2 sats above 90 before he sent me home. The month before our youngest was born it was an ice storm that knocked our power out for 36 hours. (Spent the day Matt left at Walmart with 5 kids and at 35 weeks pregnant because they had lights and heat.) Early last year there was the morning he kissed me goodbye before another such trip and said "Bye, love you and oh, the heater isn't coming on . . ." That year the switch telling the furnace the cover was closed was broken - open door, no work. Just this past summer it was the starter motor on my van dying. This weekend with 4.5 inches of icy snowfall, everyone sick to varying degrees and Matt gearing up for a business trip to Kentucky, we discover the heater doesn't seem to be working. The fan just runs and runs and the heat never comes on. I figure, of course, I'm sick, the kids are sick, the furnace isn't working and it must be time for Matt to leave on a business trip again. (He always misses the drama!) He tried replacing the thermostat yesterday morning before he left (the temperature inside the house had dropped to 54 degrees by morning) to no avail. I drove him to the car rental place after dropping the kids off at school. My head was splitting, I somewhat questioned my ability to drive, feeling weak and teary and just wanted to go home to my mommy. Trent had dragged himself off to Seminary Monday morning despite have a miserable weekend as well. He complained of a headache and just seemed to want to sleep non-stop. We all made it to church on Sunday, but he left in the middle of Sacrament meeting and didn't return. We found him in the Seminary room asleep on the floor. After returning home from church, he headed straight to bed. Matt complained he felt even worse than he had during the week and I took a 4 hour nap trying to find relief from my pounding head, queasiness and various aches.

So yesterday, after dropping Matt off at the car rental place and a brief foray to Walmart to procure more cold and flu medications and refill my asthma inhaler, I make the call for a repair man. He shows up and finds the problem with the fan right away - a bad switch. He also discovers our flue pipe is leaking. Yes, leaking, as in Carbon Monoxide leaking. "Did you say y'all have been sick lately?" he asks me. He is able to repair both problems quickly - neither of which is relative to the other. Without the bad switch, the heater would still have come on and we would not have had reason to call a repair man. If replacing the thermostat had solved our problem initially, again, no call to the repair man. No call to the repair man = ? We would not have known about the CO leak. I would have continued to chalk up how awful we all felt to being sick. Everyone is sick right now - our friends, the kids say that half their friends are missing from school. This is cold and flu season. Never in a million years would I have ever entertained the notion this was Carbon Monoxide poisoning - low level to be sure, but still, in addition to being legitimately sick. I also have carbon monoxide alarms on each floor of our home. According to what the repair man told me and also doing some research of my own, these alarms are not particularly reliable. I went out and purchased an alarm that shows the level of CO present in ppm. Even if the alarm doesn't sound, I will at least have a continuous reading of the CO level in our home. Matt called me from the road and said he was feeling a lot better - then I told him about the heater. In true unphased Matt style he said "Oh, it was good you got it fixed then." Also according to my research, it is not uncommon for people experiencing carbon monoxide poisoning to feel better when away from the source of CO. Matt is at work during the week, he felt worse at home on the weekend. I was very interested and concerned to see what condition Trent would be in on his return home from school. His room is right off the closet where the furnace and water heater sit - you access the closet through his bedroom. He came home from school a completely different kid. He was bright eyed and clear - looking and sounding 100% better. I asked him how he felt and he said he felt much improved. By evening, I too noticed that what I had attributed to cold and flu symptoms were much alleviated as well. Wow, just, wow.

The reason I am sharing all this with you is because also in my research I found this article that states accidental carbon monoxide poisoning kills approximately 500 people each year. Most at risk from dying from even low level poisoning are small children, the infirmed and elderly. Poisoning is not restricted to malfunctioning heaters during the winter time; one student died and several others were sickened due to a malfunctioning gas water heater at a Roanake College during the summer. The recent ice storms in Kentucky lead to the deaths of people who had to find other heat sources when they lost their power. Improper ventilation swiftly led to toxic CO levels. In the town where I grew up, this past December, a 22 year old mother died from CO poisoning which also seriously sickened her husband and 2 year old son. They had believed as I had so readily, that they simply had a case of flu. By the time they realized this was more serious than just a case of flu, it was too late.

This article outlines ways you can help prevent Carbon Monoxide poisoning. I would add to this list regularly checking your gas appliances to ensure proper function/ventilation as well as installing carbon monoxide detectors that show you the level of CO present. Units can be found reasonably priced and fairly easily where you would also find smoke detectors and fire alarms sold. Our local Walmart had one for less than $30. My only complaint is that it is only battery powered and I would have preferred one that plugged into an electrical outlet with battery back up. A biochemist friend of mine says increasing your iron intake and even exercise if you suspect low level poisoning can help facilitate a quick recovery - anything that increases the oxygen levels in your body. Adding the cost of the CO monitor to the $90 charge for the repair man, I spent less than $120. The cost could have been so much more.

Sunday Special March 1st - Bath Night

2009-03-01T20:35:00.003-06:00

Saturday night is always bath night. Here are a couple of my bathing beauties all squeaky clean and cute.

Adam playing peek a boo in his hooded towel.

Nathan, whose hair gets really curly after a bath only to be mostly straight by morning.

Still have some sick people here. Mostly colds now at this point and mostly just the older folks. Matt's going to Kentucky this week. I'm almost always sick when he leaves or some other disaster ensues while he is gone. Though right now he is informing me that there might be something wrong with the heater. Of course.

Pillow, I Hardly Knew Ye

2009-02-25T09:01:00.005-06:00

Sunday morning when I woke her up - Sadie announced to me that she had thrown up. Now, given this is Sadie, the first thing I ask her is "what did you get into?" I couldn't find any evidence in her favorite hiding places suggesting she had gotten into any cough syrup or eaten an entire tin of my ginger mints followed by Matt's deodorant (yes, she has taken a bite of all three before) so I felt confident I didn't need to go have her stomach pumped. So, she stayed home from church. Since I got tagged to play the organ for the back up organist (which makes me the back up back up I suppose), followed by 2 hours of playing the piano in primary, to be followed by playing the piano for choir practice; Matt got the extreme pleasure of being the parent to stay home from church with the sicko. (I have a sneaking suspicion that he is starting to regret not having stuck with those piano lessons.) So he wouldn't get bored just having to tend to one sick spewing child, I let him keep Adam at home too (who was doing some spewing of his own - though out the other end, gotta love those intestinal bugs) and also Nathan, who had copious amounts of green goo issuing forth from his nostrils. I as forlornly and apologetically as possible, donned the requisite Sunday outfit and a pair of heels and minced off to church with the older three spewless, goo-less children. When I returned home, Matt was happy to report there was no more spewing of any kind and we figured all was good.

Monday night we got the dreaded 2 am visitor. "Mommy, I'm sick!" Cue lights and action! We managed to get Garrett to the bathroom in time and then settled him down with a bucket and towel and tried to get back to sleep.

3 am: The baby starts crying. I lay still in bed, my eyes closed, hoping he's just fussing and will settle down in a little bit. Then, I hear it - the telltale sound of a child being sick. Cue lights and action! I passed off the baby to Matt who got the fabulous job of cleaning him up. I got the fabulous job of stripping and remaking the crib and procuring clean, dry pajamas. Once we get Nathan settled down again, we hear Adam moaning in his sleep. I said to Matt "and he will be the next to hurl . . ." We settled back down into bed and I told Matt as we tried to grab whatever shards of sleep left to us that night, "The good news is - 50% of our children have now been sick and so we are halfway done." Adam manages to hold off until 2 minutes after Matt leaves for work at 6 am and right before I send Trent out the door for seminary. I'm starting to run out of buckets. I'm rummaging in my food storage for open cans. No one wanted the can that had had the minced dehydrated onions in it, because, and I quote "I don't like onions!" Whatever. All told, I got about 2 hours of sleep, Matt claims 2 and 1/2.

Last night Matt and I were both asleep before 10. No nocturnal visitors. Maybe we'll get lucky and there won't be a round 2. Maybe.

Sunday Special Done Monday Style - Feb 23rd

2009-02-23T08:46:00.003-06:00

Alright, I admit it - there is an awful lot of Nathan on this here blog, especially lately. What can I say? He's cute and sweet and often tastes like peanut butter and usually has a bruise or two on his forehead. Who wouldn't love all that? Besides, he's also growing up way too fast. He followed me into my bedroom this day, closed the door, parked himself on the floor and refused to leave until I took his picture. I made it black and white for variety and also to disguise the fact that he has a bruise on his forehead and a smear of peanut butter over most of his face.

I'm just going to have to tell the other kids it's time to bring on their A games if they want to make a Sunday Special, because there is just some stiff competition going on there.

Sunday Special Feb. 15th - Valentine's Schmalentines, We Had a Birthday!

2009-02-15T20:51:00.009-06:00

On Saturday, the Monkey House was abuzz - not with excitement over Valentine's Day, but because a certain little occupant of the Monkey House was turning 2!

Preparations were made. While I busied myself with the cake and a special meal, the kids busied themselves with special table decor. They've had plenty of practice drawing on the walls - so this was a piece of artistic cake.

The theme for this occasion was dinosaurs. Nathan has taken a liking lately to the scaly reptiles. Why? Well because dinosaurs are fun, big and noisy and they like to eat people!

A special meal prepared - all the preferred edibles for the little guy. Dinosaur chicken nuggets, homemade mac and cheese, pineapple and tator tots! For a 2 year old, he has a very discerning palate!

Present time!

Cake time!

Nathan was a little uncertain about the lit candle and just exactly what he was suppose to do about that.

After the cake was cut and served however, he had no confusion as to what to do next!

Nathan looking at Trent as if to say: "If you were any brother at all, you would hand over that cake to the birthday boy!"

Happy Birthday Sweet Little Man!
February 14th, 2009

Sunday Special - Who Stole the Cookies from the Cookie Jar?

2009-02-07T10:20:00.003-06:00

Was it you?

Who Me??!!

Yes you.

Couldn't be!!
Then who?

Uhhhh, Daddy did??!!

Sunday Special - Snow Day

2009-01-31T17:40:00.003-06:00

The first day it was ice. The second day it was snow. The third day it was ice & snow. The kids were in school all of 2 days this week. Yes, it was noisy, chaotic; we drank hot chocolate by the gallon and it will take at least a month for the house to recover (and me!).

I am happy to report though, that not only did we finally get some decent snow - we finally got some decent snow! Decent enough that the kids could have snowball fights, make snowmen and go sledding! I finally got around to tackling a craft project I've been wanting to do. All in all, it was a good week.

Snow!

Sunday Special - Recycling Girls

2009-01-24T15:17:00.003-06:00

One of Sadie's most favorite things to go and do is visit the recycling center. She likes to toss the boxes, bottles and cans in their proper spots. (I find a perverse sense of fun dumping the glass jars and having them break.) One of Jessi's favorite things to do is go to Wal.Mart. We headed there after the recycling.

Of Old Dogs and New Tricks

2009-01-23T18:49:00.005-06:00

Yes, two days in a row - will you be able to stand it?!

I didn't get a toaster when I got married. I didn't get a waffle iron either. Two things that, while I hadn't counted heavily upon receiving - would have been well received. I like toast. I like waffles. I mean, I really like waffles. We did receive a few items that warranted returning as they were duplicates or not needed. We returned items and exchanged them for a set of Visions cookware (cranberry - which was my favorite at the time), a set of sheets (since we had none) and a waffle iron. The waffle iron was, unquestionably, very important. Maybe even more so than the sheets. Just ask my best friend growing up. Every time I spent the night, my friend Linds made me waffles the next morning for breakfast. She just made really good waffles, or I was a little obsessed. So, naturally, when setting up my own kitchen, waffle iron = mandatory piece of equipment.

Now, as newlyweds we were quite adept at turning shopping excursions for waffle irons or other mundane household items into cheap dates. College students, newlyweds = no money. (and you all thought I was bad at equations!) I remember spending quite a while in the small kitchen appliance aisle at the Shopko in Orem, trying to make this all important decision. Finally we settled on the big whack mack daddy of all wafflers. Square, cast iron, with reversible plates (italics = pay attention, this is important people), nifty "done" light and 4 temperature options. We pressed it into service. The waffle iron performed diligently for many years. Sheets have long since gone by the wayside. I broke every single piece of that Visions cookware by the time we had our second child - all that remained was a small lid. Shortly after moving to where we live now, I bought a Belgium waffle iron. I really kind of wanted a round one - but they didn't have those, so I had to stick with the rectangular variety. Now, for you waffle connoisseurs, Belgium waffle irons have deep, deep pockets. We use these deep pockets for catching ooey, gooey butter and syrup or juicy, sweet fruit with oodles of whipped cream on top. Old Faithful got stuck in the cabinet, forgotten, shoved under the only twice used wok (that, interestingly enough, we did receive as a wedding gift) and next to the old, too small, crockpot. Collecting dust, never to be plugged in again - that is, until tonight. In a small twist of fate, our little discount grocery was out of flour tortillas. Not feeling brave enough to face the hordes at Wal.Mart on a Friday evening right before dinner time - I just headed home, no tortillas in hand for dinner, and decided to try making them myself. Now, I have tried this in the past with a bought tortilla mix. It was not a very successful endeavor. I could not get my rolled dough to stay flat; it would shrink up in the skillet and become too small, fat, kind of bland and non-malleable. I did a little internet perusal and gleaned a few ideas for trying this venture again and gave the tortilla mix another go. This left me still however, with the non-flat, shrinking tortilla dilemma. Now, I know they make tortilla makers for this. However, me be rather practical and really not being able to justify spending money on an appliance that specifically only makes something that is actually fairly cheap to buy, and something that I am not certain I would make all that often - I do not own a tortilla maker, nor do I think I want one. Ever. Then it occurred to me - I had a waffle iron with cast iron reversible plates. Plates that reversed from waffle to completely flat and made a double sided griddle whose sides pressed together flat. Yeee-haaaaaaw! Go on, say it - sheer genius!

I added oil and onion salt to the tortilla mix and also instead of warm water - scalded milk. While the dough "rested" (sad when dough gets more rest than I do around here) I dug out my Old Faithful waffle iron and reversed the plates. The iron needed a little spit and polish - but was quite serviceable and efficient. Rolled out my dough and voila!

See here, I have made tortillas . . . in a waffle iron!

Matt said they were tasty and he liked them. Which is saying something, because usually he only has one word for whatever I make for dinner: "okay". "Okay" for Matt may mean he loved it, and it was the best thing he has ever tasted and wants to eat it every night for the rest of his life or, it was a real stinkeroo and "if you ever make it again there is not going to be enough salsa in the world to get me to choke it down" and all points in between those two extremes. The tortillas he liked, what we stuck in them - not so much. We had fish tacos for dinner. The kids like them.

So, I have proven that you can use an old waffler for new tortillas.

Next time though, I think I will skip the mix and just make them completely from scratch and see how that turns out.

Or not.

Next up: Making laundry soap in your food processor (just kidding! Though maybe . . . . . .)

Born Excellent

2009-01-21T13:52:00.008-06:00

Besieged upon by brutal cold this last little bit and while I am no shrinking violet when it comes to the cold, even this has sent enough shivers through me, that I am wearing more clothing than I normally do this time of year. Good hot chocolate weather though - or would be, if there actually were hot chocolate in the house. Kind of hard to warm up from the inside without it - though I suppose if I were really desperate, hot water would do fine, just wouldn't be as enjoyable and chicken soup is just so, well, chicken soup-y. So what's a girl to do? Sub arctic temps, cold tootsies and a dearth of warm, chocolatey powdery substances? Why - go to the store of course! See, I told you I was a fairly practical person and capable of making coherent decisions, sometimes.

Ever since the Walmart fiasco of early 2007, I no longer feel the need to torment myself and the general public by venturing to the store with my entire brood in tow. Even if we are completely devoid of any laundry soap and the dirty laundry has completely engulfed my basement and my almost 4 year old, I will wait until I can go in a much smaller group if not alone, or use shampoo. (I like my socks full and bouncy and shiny, don't you?) I am sure the general public is eternally grateful for my thoughtfullness on that point. With children old enough to watch younger siblings now (hooray!) - I feel making small, brief solo forays is feasible. With my cell phone. Fully charged. No further than 5 miles from the house. Checking in by phone every 10 minutes. With my State Trooper neighbor at home with his patrol car across the street in full view. No, I am not an overbearing, smothery worrying type - why do you ask? Hmmmmmmph.

Okay - so I went to the store, for chocolate. Is there any other more worthy cause? Okay, yeah, sure, maybe a few more - but this is vital. Sometimes. I like a little company now and then though. Though, most of them usually don't want to go with me. (I don't think I am that embarrassing, and I do shower somewhat regularly, but whatever.) Sadie likes to go though. She's my girl, and I usually don't have to bribe her with more than a regular cheeseburger with extra pickles too. Extra pickles is a small price to pay for some one on one time.

While getting ready to order the cheeseburger, Sadie informs me that all, and I do mean all, of her friends at school have Hotel Dogs. (This is the current Happy Meal toy being offered.) This is her way of letting me know that she wants one. I asked her "All?" and she affirms "all." "Even T . . .?" "Yes." "Even H.....?" (exasperated sigh) "Ye-aah!" Like duh mommy - when she said all, she apparantly meant all. So, I gave her a choice - dog or cheeseburger with extra pickles and she chose the food. Like I said, she's my girl! (If she had eaten her lunch I sent to school with her though - it might have been a different story . . .)

We proceeded to Kroger, who must have known we were coming for hot chocolate because they graciously put it on sale - 4 boxes for $5! That's 40 packets of hot chocolately warm goodness! I felt giddy. Sadie was a little put out by having to carry all four boxes. I did swap her for the cold can of whipped topping when she kept dropping one of the boxes though. We went to the self checkout and I let her check us out. She did quite well making sure the bar codes passed over the "magic window" and beeped before placing the items in the grocery bag. When we were out of items, she looked at me, "now what?" "Well now you have to pay." She doesn't bite, she's too smart for that, she knows I am going to pay for the hot chocolate, so she just stares at me impatiently.

We walk out of the store, each with a bag of spoils from our hot chocolate foray. "Sadie," I said, "You are an excellent shopping helper." This elicits a completely matter of fact "I know." "You know you are excellent?" "Oh yes, I was born that way!" She chatters along happily on our trek back to the parked car. For cheeseburger with extra pickles and a few boxes of hot chocolate, I learned that my 5 year old is not only an excellent shopping helper, but knows "lots of smart things" because her "brain just catches it all!", that she's totally amazing and she was just born that way.

Sunday Special - Story Time

2009-01-17T21:07:00.002-06:00

It's really too bad that only one of them actually knows how to read.

Nathan must have read something funny.

Sunday Special on Saturday - Super Star!

2009-01-10T12:55:00.005-06:00

Posting this today because tomorrow, after church, I plan on hibernating for a very long time and may not get to it until Monday, and we all know what kind of issues that causes with my need for alliteration! My wedding sewing is done and I am off to take a shower, then head to the church to dress a bride. But, for all you anxiously awaiting the Sunday Special - a surprise for you early birdies.

Principal's Top 100 Super Stars. That's my girl! Her teacher nominated her as a Super Star Student. Jessi's teacher is just back this week after having had a baby last November. When the school called me to tell me of the nomination, they said that Jessi's teacher had been having a rough first week back and that she said Jessi had been a wonderful help to her - caring, helpful, happy and this helped to make the transition back a little easier. Of course, I am not surprised in the very least. :0) Is anyone else?

52 Weeks to Preparedness

2009-01-10T11:56:00.006-06:00

We received this handout at Church at the beginning of the year and I thought I would share. I admit I get easily overwhelmed at the enormity of some projects, the fact that this was broken down into weekly bites made it a little easier for me to contemplate and feel confident in my ability to accomplish it. So far, I have been able to meet each weekly goal with little more than a trip to Wal.mart. Some items may take other outsourcing and I plan on doing a little internet research for ideas on how to actually utilize this stuff - though most of it is pretty basic. As I find things that I think might be of interest to others - I will be sure to share! (Interspersed with pictures and stories of my cute kids of course.)

So, without further adieu, I bring you 52 Weeks to a Year's worth of Food Storage.

Week 1: 6 lbs salt
Week 2: 5 cans of Cream of Chicken soup (I bought the family sized cans since my family is large; I think they mean the regular size soup cans here though)
Week 3: 20 lbs sugar
Week 4: 8 cans tomato soup
Week 5: 50 lbs wheat
Week 6: 6 lbs macaroni
Week 7: 20 lbs sugar
Week 8: 8 cans tuna
Week 9: 6 lbs yeast
Week 10: 50 lbs wheat
Week 11: 8 cans tomato soup
Week 12: 20 lbs sugar
Week 13: 10 lbs powdered milk
Week 14: 7 boxes macaroni and cheese
Week 15: 50 lbs wheat
Week 16: 5 cans Cream of Chicken soup
Week 17: 1 bottle 500 multi-vitamins
Week 18: 10 lbs powdered milk
Week 19: 5 cans Cream of Mushroom soup
Week 20: 50 lbs wheat
Week 21: 8 cans Tomato soup
Week 22: 20 lbs sugar
Week 23: 8 cans Tuna
Week 24: 6 lbs shortening
Week 25: 50 lbs wheat
Week 26: 5 lbs honey
Week 27: 10 lbs powdered milk
Week 28: 20 lbs sugar
Week 29: 5 lbs peanut butter
Week 30: 50 lbs wheat
Week 31: 7 boxes macaroni and cheese
Week 32: 10 lbs powdered milk
Week 33: 1 bottle 500 aspirin (I will probably make this acetaminophen as aspirin isn't good for small children and people with bleeding issues)
Week 34: 5 cans Cream of Chicken soup
Week 35: 50 lbs wheat
Week 36: 7 boxes macaroni and cheese
Week 37: 6 lbs salt
Week 38: 20 lbs sugar
Week 39: 8 cans Tomato soup
Week 40: 50 lbs wheat
Week 41: 5 cans Cream of Chicken soup
Week 42: 20 lbs sugar
Week 43: 1 bottle 500 multi-vitamins
Week 44: 8 cans Tuna
Week 45: 50 lbs wheat
Week 46: 6 lbs macaroni
Week 47: 20 lbs sugar
Week 48: 5 cans Cream of Mushroom soup
Week 49: 5 lbs honey
Week 50: 20 lbs sugar
Week 51: 8 cans Tomato soup
Week 52: 50 lbs wheat

This is what you will end up with at the end of the year:

500 lbs of wheat
180 lbs of sugar
40 lbs of powdered milk
12 lbs of salt
10 lbs of honey
5 lbs of peanut butter
45 cans of Tomato soup
15 cans Cream of Mushroom soup
15 cans Cream of Chicken soup
24 cans of Tuna
21 boxes of Macaroni and Cheese
500 aspirin
1000 multi-vitamins
6 lbs yeast
6 pounds shortening
12 lbs macaroni

I am planning on making a few additions to this list - particularly on weeks where the item is rather inexpensive (I bought 8 lbs of salt for less than $3 the first week). I plan on adding canned beans to this list. One, I am hypoglycemic and that is an awful lot of carbs on the list for someone like me and I am fairly certain some of my kids are sensitive to blood sugar as well; and two, they are a good, cheap source of protein, plus canned beans are easier to store and deal with than meat. Anyone who had the pleasure of eating in the Cannon Center during their BYU days knows that powdered eggs are sometimes not so palatable - but this is another option as is TVP for sources of protein. The other thing to consider is your particular family and their likes/dislikes. I can eat the TVP and powdered eggs - but if my younger kids decide they don't even like the look of something, it isn't going in their mouths - no matter how much ketchup or salt you put on it! With the list broken down this way, it is easily customizable. For example, I can say "my kids don't like tuna - but will eat chicken." and swap out the canned tuna for canned chicken. (Which isn't true for me, but might be for someone else - my kids are practically little human garbage compactors and will hooverize most anything in sight with few exceptions.) Change things out, add to it - rice, instant potatoes, oats, dried soup mixes, dry or canned veggies, fruits, hot chocolate. Yes, don't forget the chocolate! A year without chocolate, well, that just might be a year not worth living!

The handout says that this should be enough to sustain 2 people for a year. For every 2 more people in the family - you would need to double the amount of each item for that week. You will also need to store water for cooking and drinking.

For an Family Home Evening project one evening, we made personal hygiene kits for each member of the family and have them in a backpack hanging in our coat closet. My next project is a 72 hour kit for each person which includes the basics - food of course, the hygiene kits, but also clothing, personal needs that cannot be lived without for even a short term (ie: daily medications). I welcome any and all ideas and am interested in some of your ideas of ways you have prepared for potential disasters - natural, man-made, loss of job, etc.

Sunday Special - Napping House

2009-01-04T14:20:00.003-06:00

I have often admired the ability of children to fall asleep whenever, where-ever, however and in the middle of whatever. One minute they're awake and the next - zzzzzzzzzzzzz.

On the other end of the couch:

Off for my nap now.

Sunday Special - At Last!

2008-12-29T16:19:00.003-06:00

Sunday Special - Special Notice!

2008-12-29T14:23:00.001-06:00

I know you must all be thinking "Boy, this girl is really having trouble with this Sunday thing!" Just to let you know - I've been working on something extra special for this Sunday Special, but this extra special something requires going through over 200 photos. I've been working on this project for 3 days now (in between sleeping, eating, going to church, taking care of kids, cooking, etc.) With my slow and plodding photo editing software this extra special Sunday Special special is slowly driving me especially crazy. Plus, it has a tendency to close itself while I am in the middle of stuff. Errrrrrrrrgh. I have done 2 full system scans and reinstalled my software and still having slow and shut down issues. Though, rest assured, if it takes me all week - you will get your Sunday Special, it just may be Tuesday, Thursday or heavens, even WEDNESDAY again. However, there WILL BE a Special, and it will be really special, I promise.

Sunday Special

2008-12-20T22:55:00.006-06:00

You didn't think I'd make it did you? I know, I know - I've been starting a trend of not getting the Sunday Special up until mid-week, but this time I am on time - early even, and since Saturday also starts with 'S', I still have that nice alliteration I went on so about last time.

So, what great photo do I have for you this week? See for yourself.

This is Adam. Adam's shirt is on backwards. You need to understand something about Adam - no matter what you say, he will say it is the opposite. If I say "the sun shining", he will say "No it's not! It's dark out!" Even if clearly, the sun is shining. He just likes to be contrary - so no well meaning shows of concern for his psychiatric well being please. Anyway - I pointed out ever so helpfully that his shirt was on backwards, to which he replied, "No it's not!! My hands are on backwards!" Of course - why didn't I notice that? I thought this was a significantly rare phenomenon that it rated a picture. Apparently, judging from the expression on his face, backwards hands are kind of uncomfortable. Either that or his backwards shirt is strangling him.

OH - and the reason the photo is so blurry is because the kids got a hold of my new camera and fiddled with my settings - again. I now have several, hilarious, noisy and interesting videos of poor amateurish quality on my memory card. Fortunately, none of the videos involves the camera crashing to the ground or any of my children attempting to hang themselves upside down.

Sunday Special - Wednesday Version

2008-12-17T16:24:00.005-06:00

No wisecracks from the peanut gallery. I perhaps should just consider moving the Sunday Special to Wednesdays, since that seems to be the day I get to it, but then Sunday Special would be a misnomer wouldn't it? Then I would have to come up with a whole new name for it, because Wednesday Special just doesn't have the same nice alliterative ring to it. Wednesday Wackery? (which spellchecker is informing me is a non-word) Wednesday Wobbegong? (wobbegong: [wob·be·gong] noun Any of six species of bottom-dwelling carpet sharks in the Orectolobidae family, distinguished by their small vegetation-like flaps of skin around their mouth. A carpet shark with wide jaws and sharp teeth that lives at the bottom of the ocean and feeds mainly on crustaceans, small fish, and mollusks. Native to: Australia. Genus Orectolobus.) You see the problem; however, you did learn a new and very interesting word today, did you not? So, I think I will stick with the old title and just try getting those photos up a little earlier in the week, okay? Unless you perhaps have a nifty new title, hmmmm?

Mom, wasn't Jessi supposed to put me to sleep?

Deck the Halls

2008-12-09T14:03:00.009-06:00

We put the tree up this weekend. The kids thought it was great and decided to drag out every box they could find that might have/had ornaments in it. Sadie even wanted to put her shoes on the tree when we ran out of non-broken ornaments. Jessi and Trent went through an entire tube of super glue putting together a few that fell apart. The funny thing is, for all that they craved more and more ornaments with which to bedeck the tree with, I find an awful lot of ornaments frequently on the floor and carried off to the nether regions of our domicile.

I find that for myself, a more "pared down" look appeals and was happy with just the lights, some garland and a dozen and a half well matched, proportionately placed ornaments. The kids however, with their enthusiasm for decorating, liked the mismatched, asymmetrical approach. I have to admit, I rather like the array of color. The constant redecorating of the tree however, I could live without and I am still rather perplexed by the appearance of one of our ornaments in the dishwasher.

The kids' yen for decorating their space has extended beyond the tree and I found a couple interesting and new contributions to the few bits of seasonal decor I had placed here and about.

Nathan had watched me with great interest, going about the livingroom putting this and that of Christmas decor here and there. This morning I caught a glimpse of him carefully placing his shoe just so on the cabinet.

Not to be outdone, Adam contributed the toy for the top of the piano. For, as we all know, nothing says "Seasons Greetings!" like a jiggly bunny toy that spins and makes noise.

Now, if we could just get a little of the white stuff, we'd be all set!

P.S. Yes, I caved and bought a new camera. If it hadn't been so close to Christmas, I might have let it go for a bit. I gave up a couple megapixels and it is not as "substantial" feeling as our recently retired camera, however, it takes pictures. But, shhhhhhhhh, don't tell Trent!

Demise of the Sunday Special

2008-12-07T13:43:00.003-06:00

This video should explain why I don't have a photo to post today and you have a video instead. It will also explain why there will be no pictures of the tree getting decorating, no photo for the Christmas card and quite possibly no Christmas photos either.

I really couldn't tell you what precisely he is trying to do here - not sure Trent even knows what he is doing himself.

That would be:

Trent: 2
Cameras: 0

For anyone who is keeping track.

Sunday Special on Wednesday!

2008-12-03T21:09:00.003-06:00

Yes, I know it is three days past due - I was in Colorado enjoying the mountains, snow and my family! Jessica, Sadie, Adam, Nathan and myself headed out there the day after Thanksgiving for Sylvia's (my neice, their cousin!) baptism. Totally amazing singing together as a family again, chatting and laughing; I am so glad we went, even if the Interstate through Kansas seemed endless.

Here is one of my favorite pictures from the trip - this is Sadie and her cousin Gwyn.

The Bird is the Word

2008-11-27T20:48:00.002-06:00

Blogger is being goofy. I tried uploading other pictures but it called it a "bad request" - not once, but twice!

So a picture of the bird is what you get, for now.

One word, YUM!

Vacuum Shmacuum

2008-11-25T09:23:00.005-06:00

I should be getting my house ready for Thanksgiving guests. I should be making lists and planning plans. How could I resist such a sweet face though? I just want to kiss all the peanut butter off those cheeks. I have to take pictures - before I forget, before he grows out of this.

Sunday Special

2008-11-23T13:57:00.003-06:00

Garrett is hard to get a good picture of. Aside from having to get him to just sit still long enough - you have to get him to focus (ha ha - get it? focus??!!) long enough to get a decent expression. So, when we do get one - we are very excited. The color on this originally was rather harsh because I took it in the fading sunlight - very yellow and bright, making the shadows quite stark. The sepia tone came out rather nice I thought, and toned down the contrast between light and shadow a bit. I know professionals might balk at shadows - but I kind of like the "real" effect of having a bit of shadow in a picture.

Happy Birthday Revisited

2008-11-17T20:22:00.005-06:00

Sooooooo,

I had to go to three different stores to find an important ingredient for the Chicken Scallopine with Artichokes & Spinach I wanted to make.

I came home to a birthday "surprise" waiting for me on the table:

Two cards and a frozen 21 lb turkey from my spouse. Apparently turning 40 is an occasion that calls for large bits of frozen poultry.

Dinner was divine - if I do say so myself, ask me for the recipe sometime.

The cake - carrot of course with cream cheese frosting, and lots of it. Instead of adding eggs and oil to the boxed mix, I used a can of pureed pumpkin instead, tossed in the requisite raisins and walnuts and one cup of water. Yum - very moist and less guilty feelings for the mile high cream cheese with low-fat cake.

Garrett said "wow, you are really old now mom." To which I smartly replied "One day, you will be as old as me." (as per suggestion) His reply? "Yes, but you'll probably be dead."

For post dinner festivities, my youngest threw up on me.

OH - and best of all, I get to go home to Colorado for a few days after Thanksgiving - Yippee!!

Happy Birthday!

2008-11-17T13:36:00.002-06:00

My kids informed me that I am officially old and that "half my life" is now over.

Hmmmm, I don't think I will share my cake with them. :0)

Me when I was a lot cuter with not as much hair.

Sunday Special

2008-11-16T19:26:00.003-06:00

I want to start putting up a picture every Sunday taken during the week. Nothing fancy - just something like this picture I took of Sadie today. I thought it was a sweet photo. So every Sunday, a new photo. Maybe I'll write a little too - don't know for sure yet, but there will be a new photo.

Better Late Than Never - Halloween 2008

2008-11-12T11:00:00.021-06:00

I freely admit I am a wee bit tardy with the photos from Halloween. I could lay out some sob story tale of woe of sick kids with runny noses, car troubles and my own current state of disease - but, cute pictures of cute kids are always way more fun!

A pleasant respite from the costumes of last year - these Halloween offerings did not take near as much time nor trouble. Smartest thing I ever did was let go of the ideal that we needed a "theme". Wizard of Oz was fun last year, and the kids were darn cute - but trying to get all those costumes sewn left me feeling like I was being attacked by flying monkeys.

From youngest to oldest:

Nathan

Originally going to be a frog. (Adam really likes "fwoggies") Perusal of listings on e.Bay for ideas uncovered incredible deal with free shipping on Zebra costume. Mom shouted "Sold!" and the postal service conveniently took care of the details. Cute and warm - the costume was both functional as well as fun. Nate took to candy quite handily. See picture below.

Adam

Pirate of the High Seas. His costume took the most effort. Shirt, vest, belt and pants were thrift store finds gleaned from the girls' section. Store bought hat and sword. His "buckle" shoes are actually dress shoes bought on clearance from Wal.mart. Also wearing Sadie's knee socks. Mom had to "cuff" pants (size 6 girls - let down the "cuff" afterward and Sadie has a pair of capris now - oh how I love 2 for 1's!). Shirt and vest had to be "cut down" to size. Basically I just cut the sleeves off, shortened the shirt; trimmed side seams and recut the arms. Sewed it back together and "voila!" one ruffly pirate shirt! The hat was also a bit goofy - so I just took it from a tricorne hat to a four corner style. (It fit and looked better)

Sadie

A princess, of course! Recycled princess dress from Halloween's past. Made this dress for Jessica when she was about Sadie's age. Fabric recycled from awful pink bridesmaid dress and matched with clearance light weight decor fabric. Sparkly silver sandals and plastic "jewelry" and tiara complete the look.

Garrett

Originally wanted to be a flying ninja monkey. Ummm, okay - mom's brain short circuiting with mental gyrations trying to figure that one out. Settled for Ninja Warrior. All I had to do was sew a tunic and come up with a sash. A black turtleneck and pants serve as good base; add a plastic sword and we're in business! By the time the trick or treating was done, the sword was snapped in two. I can't say I wasn't expecting that.

Jessica

50's girl, Bobbie Soxer. This one was also easy. Thrift store sweater paired with poodle skirt made by mom's mom for high school play. (How much does this depress me that I use to be able to fit into that skirt? 27 inch waist people - 27 inches! sob I only had to adjust about an inch for Jess' 25.5 inch waist) Add a pair of white sneakers and of course, requisite bobbie socks and pearls; tie a scarf around pony tail. (Nathan was unhappy that Jess put him down and refused to stay out of the picture - so that is why there is a screaming zebra in the photo.)

Trent

Okay, Trent. Well, Trent didn't have a costume - so he was himself - or rather, a member of the pep band because he had to be at a football game Halloween night. I discovered some "self-portraits" when I downloaded the photos off the digital camera. Ummm - well, I will let you decide for yourself - I'm not sure what he is doing here.

Some Group Shots

Finis

Pumpkin Posse 2008

2008-10-28T12:20:00.010-05:00

Jack O'Lantern time!!

This picture cracks me up - the chef's knife poised, ready to strike the unsuspecting gourd; Garrett pulling out pumpkin guts and Trent holding back Sadie - who looks truly horrified by such goings-on. (Honest - this wasn't posed! Sadie is actually mad because she wanted to be first to rip out pumpkin guts and Trent was pulling her off Garrett's pumpkin. Matt with the knife was just a bonus photo element!)

Soon, Sadie gives in to the dark side and begins scooping out pumpkin guts also. The look on her face is priceless!

As you can see, the kids had their work cut out for them These pumpkins produced a lot of seeds and pumpkin pulp!

Trent was a reluctant participant - preferring his tome to de-pulping pumpkins. Adam tried to get him involved in the activity.

Adam: "Here Trent, have a pumpkin!"

Trent: "Uhhhhhhh, thanks?"

Trent was not the only one who felt this activity was disgusting and refused to engage.

Nathan: "Ewwwwwwwwwwww!"

However, scribbling on a small gourd with crayons is always fun . . . helps you to forget the fact you just dribbled chocolate milk all down the front of your shirt.

"Hmmmmmmmm; Garrett is wrong - these do NOT taste like Chicken!"

Jessi seemed to be enjoying herself. Perhaps she has a bit of a sadistic streak regarding squash or she just knew I was taking her picture at the moment!

The artiste at work . . .

Adam was another participant who refused to get his hands "dirty", preferring instead to inspect the work of everyone else to make sure it was done to code.

Adam:"It's a thankless job, but someone has to do it! Nobody mention the word union!"

(Garrett: "Union??")

The Gourd Group and their completed works of art. (Yes, that would be 3 kitty pumpkins there and one melting face.)

Happy Halloween!

Pregnancy & Infant Loss Remembrance Day

2008-10-15T12:06:00.005-05:00

n June 0f 1995, I joined the millions of women affected by pregnancy and infant loss. Since that time I have endured 6 more losses - and while so very early on in pregnancy, were no less devastating due to their brevity.

In 1986, then President Ronald Reagan signed his name to a proclamation stating the month of October to be Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month. Following suit in 2005, Congress passed a bill proclaiming the 15th of October to be Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. In current years this day and month are marked by Remembrance Walks, Prayer Ceremonies and many other rituals meant to help healing, spread awareness and engender compassion.

Anyone touched by the tragedy of losing a child - whether in infancy, at birth, beyond or before knows how life altering and devastating the experience is. They would have been sons, daughters, sisters, brothers, nieces, nephews, uncles, aunts, grandparents and friends - that we did not get to know them more fully in this life is truly a loss.

Always Remembered . . .

~i~

Rain, Rain, Go Away . . .

2008-09-15T14:35:00.002-05:00

Sunday morning we awoke to this:

This is the field directly behind our house. You can see our chainlink fence and playset in some of the pictures. We figured the water was about 12-13 inches deep. The wind was blowing and created "waves" across this expanse of water. It did not come up into our yard however (we have a significant rise up from the lower portion of the yard to where the house actually sits) and later that afternoon had run mostly off. The storm drains and creeks nearby were just completely overwhelmed with several inches of rain in a very short period of time. The rain stopped about noon on Sunday and the drains had a chance to catch up a bit.

A Sweet Little Birthday Bash Giveaway

2008-09-14T13:36:00.005-05:00

Found this and thought it was kind of fun. Enjoy!

Mother Regrets

2008-09-08T22:11:00.011-05:00

I planned on reading you many books

I never planned on yelling so much

I was going to be the coolest mom ever

You would remember days spent at the park, the zoo, the library

I was never going to be too tired

If I had made half the outfits I planned on sewing you - there wouldn't have been enough days in the year to wear them all

You would always know how smart and amazing you are

There were going to be many days we made cookies together

I was never going to be impatient

I would listen twice as much as I talked

I was never going to be cross

There were always going to be crayons and playdough

There were going to be lots of games

I never thought there would be days I didn't know the right thing to do, or say

Everything you drew would be a masterpiece and carefully preserved

I would never be too busy

Music and laughter would always fill the air

I would dry your tears, not be the cause of them

I would never forget how precious you are

I would never forget to thank God every day for you

I would never wish you would just grow up

You would never doubt how much I love you

Wow! That went by fast!

2008-08-12T08:07:00.005-05:00

Summer, that is.

This morning we got up bright and early (6:15 am anyone?) and off to school we went. Trent left earliest for Marching Band Practice. I'm not sure he was entirely awake as you can see by the picture below.

Since it was Sadie's very first, first day of school, I made her a special first day of school outfit. I only had to stay up until midnight to finish it. She is my skirt girl - for years she refused to wear pants of any kind, saying "Princesses do not wear pants!" We finally convinced her that some Princesses do and she will condescend to wear a pair now and then. Of course, for her very first day of school she had to have a skirt - and not just any skirt. Oh no! That would not do for my Sadie. She had to have a very special skirt - cupcakes and polka dots and lots of pink. You can't see it because it is under her jacket, the part that had me up really late was actually the t-shirt. I got one of those jeweled iron-ons in the shape of a cupcake to match, because it was supposed to be easy. Yeah, right. It took almost 45 minutes of alternately pressing, cooling, waiting and trying to peel off the cover and repeating this process to get all the little sparkly jewel things to finally stick to her shirt. Yeesh - I think I could have glued them all individually faster . . . but eventually they all finally stuck, save one, and I called it good and went to bed.

School lunches went up considerably this year and with four of them in school, seemed a bit excessive. So we decided to 'brown bag" it. Given it has been many years since we have needed to purchase a lunch box, I was a bit shocked by how much they all cost and how small most of them are! Ten dollars for Care Bears with a cheap plastic zipper that is going to break the first week? I found a few lock down type storage boxes on clearance for $1.50 each (wahoo!) that were the perfect size and with a few of my smallest storage containers we made our own Bento style lunch boxes. When I packed them this morning, I was rather impressed with how nicely everything goes in - neat and protected from squashing. They didn't have handles though and so with some fabric, webbing, and a thermal insulating drape, I made them lunch bags to carry their boxes in. The kids were really excited about them - though, I am guessing Trent won't bother to use his much being in Jr. High and all, lunch bag made by mom - not so 'cool' you know. I found what is called an "ice blanket" that fit well into the bottom of the box and didn't take up too much space. That coupled with the insulating liner out of the drape should keep things quite nicely for the kids. You can see the bags in the picture - Sadie and Garrett are both holding theirs.

Does it make me a bad mommy if I say it was rather nice to put 2/3 of my children on a bus this morning and send them off to school?

I did get teary eyed after the last kid rode away; perhaps that will improve your opinion. So now what do I do with myself? Given that Nathan is currently poking my sewing machine cord into a cereal bar, I am pretty confident I am not going to have to wonder for too long.

Four down, two in four more years to go . . . !

P.S. This last picture made me weepy. ***sigh***

If my Digital Camera worked, you'd have a picture

2008-08-05T12:39:00.003-05:00

Yes, it's broken.

I can't talk about it right now.

I will tell you what I wanted to take a picture of.

For months I have gone on about Sadie and her 'spearamints. Yes, she is at it again. I am telling you - this child is going to be a billionaire chemist one day.

Today she made a fly catcher - one that is neither sticky nor smelly. In fact, her fly catcher smelled a lot like my Bath and Body Works Coconut Lime Verbena Sanitizing Hand Gel - which I love and which, since I do not not have a B&B Works close by, is hard to come by.

She dumped the entire 3 oz bottle of hand sanitizer into a bowl. She added equal parts water. This must have been right before lunch when I was otherwise distracted. After lunch we discover why she smells so nice.

Usually if there is "spearaminting" going on - it happens in the bathroom or her bedroom closet.

This time it was the bathroom.

In approximately one hour - she caught two flies.

So, if my digital camera were working - you would be looking at a picture of a storage bowl filled with hand sanitizer with antibacterial microbeads mixed with water and two dead flies floating in it - right at this very moment!

I hope you can bear the disappointment.

Welcome to the Friendly Skies

2008-07-15T23:36:00.004-05:00

We drove, we flew, we drove some more . . .

Reunion time!

Too far to drive all the way, so 8 tickets, 5 suitcases, 7 carry-ons and a 12 passenger rental van later we arrived in Rexburg.

The flight out wasn't so bad. By the time we arrived at the airport, Matt parked one car - caught a shuttle, parked the other car - caught a shuttle, we checked in, checked luggage, got 9 people (8 of us and one nephew) through security and to the gate - they were actually boarding for our flight. The two car seats were a bit cumbersome. Always fun trying to squeeze sideways down a narrow aisle with a car seat held over your head trying not to hit someone in the head or catch the doors on the overhead bins. Add small children to be herded along as well and you have a recipe for small airplane fun! They had our seats all together - two full rows for the flight out. The return flight - different story.

We checked in over an hour before departure and were told we'd get our seat assignments at the gate. By the time we got to our gate (E-81 - yes, it was as far away as it sounds! I think we actually left city limits at one point) we still had a significant amount of time to kill. Matt went to the desk and requested our seat assignments and was told by the lady there that "she wasn't ready to do that yet" and she would page us. Well - we sat 10 feet from the desk and she never paged us. I sent Matt back to the desk about the time they should have been boarding us. He was asked how many people we had under the age of 12 (answer: 5 out of 8) and then handed our boarding passes with seat assignments. Not only did she put us in the third group (which is the LAST group to board) - our seats were midway and to the rear of the plane, and not all together. I would think you would want to board from rear to front - but then again, what do I know about planes and what makes aeronautical sense? Apparent also, was her belief that somehow the over 12's in our group would naturally want to sit as far away as possible from the under 12's in our group. Something I am sure would naturally engender many warm and fuzzy feelings from our fellow passengers - particularly those stuck next to said under 12's sans parents. Ummmm, no - this is so not going to work! We did the slide and squeeze with kids and car seats down the crowded aisle (did I mention we were last to board? No - they did NOT call for preboarding for children or those with special needs - which we certainly qualified on both counts there . . .). So, I am trying to strap in car seats, keeps kids in check and locate our scattered seats and figure out who is going where because obviously - much as I would like to - sticking Garrett or the baby by themselves 5 rows and across the plane away from me or another adult/responsible family member is just not going to fly (no pun intended - okay, well maybe intended!). Fortunately, the stewardess on the flight realized that there was a bit of dilemma going on and came to our assistance. With her help and the good natures of a few people willing to swap seats, we managed to get seated mostly together. Sadie was a little distressed that she was across the aisle, albeit in the same row, as daddy. She quickly warmed up to her seatmate who offered her a pen to draw with and was fine after that. You can see in the pictures below - Garrett was across the aisle from me and seated next to a man who was asleep for the entire flight. This worked out pretty good given Garrett's propensity for squirming and other such behaviours that a conscious person might find annoying. He kicked the back of Sadie's seat on occasion - which is infinitely preferable to kicking a stranger/non-relative from behind, at least in my book! The two littlest ones did fairly well - though I did have to bribe them back into their car seats and harnesses with lollipops for landing. Nathan did some low-level fussing for about 3 minutes, but found a sucker quite to his liking and decided that licking a typically forbidden treat was much more worthwhile than expressing any personal opinions.

All in all - the wear and tear of traveling aside, things went well. We had a great time at the reunion. Given that on neither flight no committees were formed to eject us at 30,000 feet - I'd say it was a rousing success.

If You Give a Mouse a Cookie . . .

2008-07-12T13:46:00.002-05:00

It started with a jug of milk and a little boy who wanted a drink. I try to economize my trips to the store and had stocked up with an adequate amount of milk to get us through the weekend, that is, until my 8 year old decided he needed a glass of milk. Make a mess - clean it up.

With a significant portion of our weekend milk on the kitchen floor, our milk supply quickly "dried up". Not to be deterred from a tall cold glass, they - meaning those milk drinkers in the house - turned to the jug of whole milk that the baby drinks. And then there was none . . .

So, off to the store we go!

Adam decided he wanted to go along with me. I often take a kid to the store with me as this is how I get one on one time with the kids. One on one time is not easy to come by in a houseful. I grumbled a bit as I had to strap in his car seat. Matt had taken all the van seats out for his latest project. I put one of the captain's chairs back in, latched it down. Grab a car seat - adjust the locking clip and strap that in. Now get the kid strapped in and I am now ready for a nap!

We had the best time. We wandered around the store - no hurry. We sampled; we browsed; we chatted. We found a ladybug. Adam is my little bug boy. He can find even the tiniest of insects and will squat and examine them - absolutely fascinated by this tiny legged creature skittering across the floor. While I don't share his particular fascination with these multi-legged life forms, I do however, find HIS fascination, fascinating! Adam was captivated by the ladybug. It crawled along his hand, along the shopping cart and eventually flew away. Though for a good fifteen minutes, Adam was entranced. There is something so engaging about the wonder of a child. My eyes have viewed the world for almost 40 years now and while I cannot say I have seen all it's many wonders, most things within my view I've seen before, many times. Yet, today, despite the hundreds of ladybugs I am sure I have seen over the years - this one was special, because it held captive the wonder of a little boy precious to me - he was amazed and I was in awe.

Something I have noticed about my boys - they are great company and have always been my bestest buds when they were little. Together they are loud and destructive, smelly and messy. Seperate them from the pack and they are delightful company, engaging and intelligent, loving and sweet.

So, for a jug of milk, I had a lovely hour and a half with an engaging little man.

Read at Your Own Risk

2008-06-24T00:31:00.004-05:00

I saw a new commercial the other day - one that said we should read to our children for at least 15 minutes every day. The benefits were numerous - none the least of which were increased intelligence and a better relationship overall between parent and child. My mother read to my siblings and I growing up and we still remember fondly our trips to the library and our favorite stories. Perhaps my perspective is skewed by being the "read-ee" instead of the reader and my memory is a bit more selective - because I think I was a much more accommodating and receptive audience.

Hours of chasing my wild children around the house after dinner and finally getting them to actually sit on the couch instead of jump on it later . . .

ME: "Mommy's going to read you some stories before bed!"

THEM: "Oh goody!"

ME: "Pick out some books and let's sit down and read them."

Most of the books brought to me are rejected by the majority for being too long, too boring, not enough pictures, too many pictures or just plain "we don't like that book".

Finally, we have a book or two and settle in for some nice, calm, enjoyable family time . . .

ME: "Once upon a time . . ."

One of Them: "MOM! You already read that one!"

ME: "No I didn't - this is a different one. They all start this way."

Another one of Them: "No they don't!"

ME: "Okay - how about, sometime a long time ago, I don't know when . . ."

Them: (Deep sigh and rolling of eyes)

ME: " . .. there was a princess . . ."

One of Them (usually Garrett); "Not again!"

Another one of Them (usually Sadie): "MOM! Nathan is turning the pages and now we're on the wrong page!!"

ME: "It's okay - I know the story."

One of Them (ALWAYS Sadie): "No you don't - you always get it wrong!"

Me: "Adam! Come back! Don't you want to read a story? No, Nathan - don't eat the book!"

Two of Them: "Ewwwwwwww, the book is all slobbery now!"

ME: (deep sigh of frustration) "On a day somewhat like this day, there was a crazy Queen . . . "

One of Them (probably Garrett) "It doesn't say that mom."

Me: "Look at the pictures and be quiet and listen. On a day kind of like the one I am having today, the crazy queen made an awesome dinner that nobody liked and someone even threw theirs on the floor which was very naughty. The wicked children ran around and around and around and made loud noises like wild animals. They threw paper on the floor and left their shoes and toys everywhere! The crazy queen got so tired of it that she locked them all in the dungeon and didn't let them come out until they were all grown up and polite and did their own laundry. The end."

Them: (Stunned looks of disbelief and concern that their mom is off her rocker.)

One of Them: "Mom, can we go to the library tomorrow and get some better books?"

ME: (mumbling under breath) "Will you keep your clothes on this time and not streak through the juvenile fiction again?"

Fifteen minutes and two hours later, the noise is dying down and I am contemplating a warm bath and literature without pictures or rhyming prose . . ..

Adam: (who is out of bed with a board book in outstretched hand) "Book!"

I think the commercial forgot to mention that you are supposed to read to someone else's children instead . . .

For The Austen Fans . . .

2008-06-08T19:29:00.001-05:00

Ah well, I suppose we all can't be Eliza Bennett . . .

Take the Quiz here!

Happy Birthday Monkey Man!

2008-06-04T14:34:00.016-05:00

This is Garrett. Garrett is, well, a monkey. Garrett turned 8 on May 21st. Garrett was old enough to be baptized, so we had him dunked. We wanted pictures. This is what we got. Enjoy this fabulous photo montage Garrett helped to put together for your viewing pleasure.

and finally . . .

Some birthday pictures

From this . . .

May 2000

To this . . .

May 2008

A Birthday, Baptism, Road Trip and a Graduation

2008-06-02T17:08:00.003-05:00

I am way behind. The last two weeks have been a whirlwind of activity and road trips and so now I get to play catchup.

I'll post the pictures and write-up separately of Garrett's 8th birthday and subsequent baptism on the 21st and 22nd respectively. We were blessed to be visited by both sets of grandparents. Shortly after the baptism though, my parents and I loaded up the van and headed out to Kentucky for my baby sister's college graduation. I'll have to beg a picture or two from my dad as he held the camera duties during the trip. I am so proud of my sister! She graduated in 5 years as a single mom with two kids. I'm a bit jealous as I am still who knows how many years out from my own college degree still AND also because she is planning on moving back to Colorado now. I miss the mountains - though we do enjoy where we are living at the moment.

Great for Sucking up Those Cookie Crumbs

2008-06-01T10:48:00.002-05:00

Found this on the 'net.

Since Kirby is still recovering from the nail encounter thought I would give it a try . . . :0)

C is for Cookie . . .

2008-05-31T18:22:00.006-05:00

A - Adam enrolls in "Do it Yourself Home Haircuts 101"
B - Baby boogers
C - Children of Chaos
D - "Duh mommy, I didn't turn in my summer school form because I didn't want to!"
E - Every time I mop the floor, someone drops a big jug of ketchup on it
F - Find a shoe, lose a shoe; find a shoe, lose a shoe . . .
G - "Good grief Adam! What did you do to your hair??!!"
H - "Hi honey, I'm going to Kentucky again for a week . . ."
I - I know what you did in your diaper
J - Just when you thought it was safe to go in the laundry room
K - Killin' time with my Kirby
L - Little sisters are big pests - little brothers too
M - Many monkeys make mega messes
N - Never do for your mom for free what you can make your little brother do for a nickel
O - Open the door, let the naked three year old out and the doggy who pees on the floor in
P - Please don't stuff jelly beans up your nose
Q - Quick! does anyone know how to unclog a toilet stuffed with 3 rolls of toilet paper??
R - Remember to buy more toilet paper
S - Someone drew on the baby again
T - Ten ways to make Sadie scream and your mom mad
U - Under the couch is the best place to put all the stuff you were supposed to put away
V - Vacuumed up a nail - now Kirby's making weird noises and smells bad
W - Wonder why I'm tired?
X - x-ray Adam again and find more money
Y - Y me? You always make me do everything!
Z -Zippity do dah! Zippity Yay! It's time for bed!

Of Ticks, Chicks and Laundry

2008-05-17T22:19:00.003-05:00

When the young boys in our house turn three they go through a rite of passage - the Father/Son Campout.

This year was Adam's first. He came home somewhat sunburned, extremely dirty, wearing the same clothes I sent him in and sporting no less than half a dozen ticks. He wolfed down an entire hot dog for dinner upon his return, took a bath and promptly fell asleep on the couch.

The girls and I look forward to this weekend with great anticipation. An evening of chocolate, cheesy popcorn, our various drink choices, staying up late and chick flicks! This year however, the FSC kicked off with a special fireside for the families after which us ladies enjoyed dutch oven desserts and then returned home while the men/boys stayed and camped. The campout was held on a farm about 45 minutes drive from home. As we made our windy way home in the dark, Jessi - who had been somewhat disappointed in not getting her chocolate or chick flick this year gave a sigh and said, "Just think mom, in two years Nathan will go and it really will just be us girls." I gave a smile in the dark just thinking about Matt trying to keep track of 4 boys running off in 4 different directions in the woods . . .

I am now going to spend the rest of the weekend steering clear of the laundry room.

Life, Foliage and the Pursuit of Identity

2008-05-10T09:02:00.003-05:00

Yes, I realize it has been two weeks. Yes, I know I had a goal of writing something at least once, hopefully twice a week. All I can say is . . .best laid plans.

I felt that since she was the one who denuded our spring flowers of their buds, that it was only appropriate Sadie be the one to help me return our flowers beds to their flowered state. So, we set off to the store to appropriate some more bloomage. I expected and even welcomed input from said 5 year old. At the end, we had a cartful of flowers and plants in various states of blooming. I did however, notice a theme. "Sadie" I said, "These are ALL pink!" She gave me a look as if to say "But of course. What did you expect?" I did manage to convince her that some other colors might look nice and we returned home with some tulips in reds, pinks and purples; Lilies in pink and red; Hydrangeas in pinks and purply blues and lastly, my favorites, Calla Lilies in white. I picked up a couple of rosebushes as well - white and blush pink. Yes, still a bit of thematic pink going on, but I could live with it. We made the trek home and began digging and planting. For our efforts we ended up with dirt under our nails (and "dirt in my skirt" said Sadie) and a flowery showy bed more appropriate to spring. Sadie wisely steered clear of the roses and I bear the scratchy scars of wrestling with that pair. We have been well pleased with our efforts. All last week I have felt a small swelling of pride when driving in and out of our driveway. Last Thursday night however, I returned home from Sadie's preschool graduation and found one of my Hydrangea bushes (though bush might be an ambitious term at this stage) lying mournfully, roots exposed in a ball, at the end of the driveway. I picked it up and gently returned it to its proper place noting the small tricycle lying on its side very nearby. Adam apparantly had "escaped" and caused a bit of mayhem while Sadie and I were gone.

Once I find my camera and put the batteries back in it (don't ask - just one word, kids) I will try and get some pictures up of our flowers before the little ones succeed in killing them all off or removing all their petals.

Jessi had a very busy week the week prior to last with a Spelling Bee and a Talent Show. She spelled out on "meant" - not realizing there was an "a". She knew though, that it was not "mint". I was able to define it better for her afterward and she will probably forever remember how it is spelled now. She did well though. I was very impressed with some of the words the kids were spelling. For fifth graders, they were doing remarkably well with some tricky words. For the Talent Show, Jessi sang with a friend of hers. They had some technical issues with the music but managed to get through fairly well. I think just getting up there on that stage in front of the school and so many other people at this age is pretty darn impressive. She is already planning next year's act.

The kids are all getting very excited for the upcoming family reunion. I found a little program online that you can download to make Kid ID's on. I thought they might be fun (and a little useful if one of my kids decided to wander off - not that any of MY kids would EVER do THAT!). I thumbtacked a black piece of fabric to the wall and lined up the little ones snapping their ID photos. Then I weighed and measured them. I had the three youngest done before the others got home from school. Garrett noted the fabric tacked to the wall and inquired as to what I was trying to do with it. He is anxious to have his picture taken and as soon as I find my camera I am going to be happy to accommodate him.

I am including the link to the ID program at the end of this post. One, they asked me to "share" it and two, I was rather pleased with it and thought others might find it useful. They recommend updating your child's info yearly. I found that when you print the id, its not very clear on your options for size. I found that by putting a "4" in the field for the printer (you'll understand when you get there) I ended up with an ID roughly the size of a driver's license. The smaller the number you put in that field, the smaller the id and the larger number, well, the larger the ID will print out. I printed them on glossy photo paper and they came out pretty good.

FREE Child's ID from BillyBear4Kids.com

Holy Cradle Robbers Batman!

2008-04-25T12:48:00.005-05:00

Sixteen years today.

Exciting plans to celebrate? Well, the words "Lowe's" and "landscaping stuff" came up. Hmmmmm - I can see we have need to continue working on that. I am pretty certain the 16th Anniversary is not the Home & Garden Anniversary.

Him: "Look honey - I got you an econo pack of lawn and leaf bags!" Me: "Oh you romantic devil you!"

Yeah, definitely need to work on that . . . :0)

Happy 5th Birthday Sadie Rose!

2008-04-15T22:54:00.006-05:00

In true Diva style - this little girl picked her own birthday (scheduled csection date just not good enough for her - thank you very much!) The tale of her birth involves a long anxious car ride made longer by a gridlock traffic jam with 3 minute apart contractions and eventually an armed escort at the hospital. After all that kerfuffle, are we surprised by the red curly hair and the sass to match?

It all goes by much too fast . . .

Jessica & Sadie April 2003

The Dress

2008-04-14T11:53:00.010-05:00

It was antique white. The softest cotton sateen you have ever felt in your life. The type of fabric that has wonderful drape and you just want to wrap yourself up in from head to toe. The type of fabric that if you bought it made into bed sheets would be marked "Luxury". Which is precisely what it was - luxurious and heavenly. The Peter Pan collar with matching bow and sash were a soft rose color in the same fabric. I could hardly refrain from petting it - stroking the fabric over and over, thinking that this was how my babies felt after a bath, fresh and powdered - so soft and smooth. Along the bottom of the skirt was a scenic panorama of Paris - drawn with spots of color here and there in the palest of pinks and roses. The Eiffel Tower, the Arc de Triomphe - other buildings - a little cafe, a museum. Just . . . gorgeous. The style was simple - slightly high waisted, full gathered skirt, straight bodice with cap sleeves. The little collar and sash with bow were not elaborate either - but still, the dress was elegant in its simplicity; sweet and innocent in presentation, heirloom reminiscent - perfect for my little girl, and the size was just right. I splurged. The dress wasn't terribly expensive - it costs me more to fill my gas tank even just once. Still, I did hesitate the slightest bit, and then because it was her birthday the following week, I chose to bring it home. When my little girl saw it for the first time - her mouth opened in a round "O". She brought her hand up hesitantly at first, but then touched the dress, unable to resist. Running her hand down the skirt she said "Oh - it's a Paris dress!" She has never been to Paris except via her Madeline books and videos. Still, to her, Paris meant this dress was something special.

Since it was a dressy dress - I let her wear it the Sunday before her birthday. Her older sister helped dress her in it. My little girl looked so perfect it made me cry. My oldest daughter had pulled just the front part of her little sister's curly strawberry blond hair back and caught it with a ruffled satin bow barrett. She wore the dress with a little pointelle knit sweater, tights and burgandy velvet shoes with satin bows on the toes - a little purse to finish the outfit off and voila! Just perfect, absolutely picture perfect - though, because we were in a hurry to get out the door to church on time, I didn't grab the camera. After all, I figured there was plenty of time later for pictures - because the dress was ours.

The day wore on. Church was over. I stayed - choir, a youth activity, Matt brought the children home. Jessica had planned a special Tea Party for her and Sadie. They wore their dresses - Jessica took a few pictures. A nice little "outing" - though I missed it.

Sometime after the Tea Party ended, Sadie and two of her brothers found their way into a craft project Jessica had been working on. One that involved black craft paint. None of them had changed out of their church clothes. I asked for the dress - Sadie had changed out of it by then, but upon verifying verbally that she had indeed been wearing it during the black craft paint catastrophe - I had a horrible sick feeling. Jessica brought me the dress. She had tried to clean the paint off. She attempted this using bleach. I imagine she must have been absolutely horrified when the rose sateen began to turn a horrible and spotty shade of orange. She was not the only one who shed tears upon surveying the wreckage. Garrett's and Adam's clothing were also affected - though only with the paint. Their dress shirts, Adam's pants and a sweater covered with splotches of black paint. Their disarray did not provoke emotion on the same level as the state of the dress however.

I am hoping to salvage it somehow. The bulk of the dress was white - so the bleach didn't affect the color too adversely there. I think with a little effort gently applied, the black spots of paint will come off. The sash and collar are completely ruined. Fortunately I am possessed of some sewing ability and I think I can replace the collar and sash with something else. Though, of course it won't be the same - I doubt I will be able to find the same sateen fabric in the perfect shade of soft rose.

I am grateful Jessica took pictures during their tea party. However, upon looking at the few she took, realized that I do not have one shot of the dress in its entirety.

Here it is - all I have of the dress in its former glory. For the rest however, I will have to rely upon my memory only of a perfect little curly haired girl in the perfect dress.

"Honey, did you remember to round up two zebras for the ark?"

2008-04-10T21:50:00.009-05:00

Rain is a season in Missouri - this is a fact I have been aware of for several years now. I actually like rain - though I am kind of strange that way. I also like snow. We're not talking about the white stuff today though. We can accumulate a significant amount of rainfall rather quickly - this season started off with a bang - 13 inches in a 3 day period of time! That was the grand kickoff to rain and flood season a couple weeks ago. When you dump that much rain that fast right off the bat, the next 2 months of rain have no where to go but up.

Imagine our shock to find that today's forecast predicted - you guessed it - lots of rain. I got the older kids up for school and there was a lull in the downpour, so they headed out to the bus stop. Shortly after leaving out the door - a flash and loud crack and down comes the rain! Garrett arrived back inside first. Jessi said the lightening flash and then thunder made him jump. He stuck around until the rain started coming down and then she reported he just took off, running with arms flapping up and down screaming "ahhh! ahhh! ahhh! ahhh!" all the way home. Jess arrived shortly thereafter. She also said that Trent just stood there for a moment, a sad look on his face as he looked upward contemplating the sky and then he continued to the bus stop. That's my boy!

The kids arrival back home presented a new set of issues - one of which being they now needed alternate transportation to school. Jess said she was out of money for cab fare (something about us not giving them allowance) so that meant I had to play chauffeur. Now, it doesn't sound that hard does it? Sure, throw the kids in the car and just drive to school. Well - first, there is the matter of the 3 sleeping children and second, the fact that I am still in my jammies. Sadie has prek on Thursdays, but not until 9. I need to get the older kids to school by 8. Time that Garrett and Jessica returned to our not so sunny doorstep - 7:28 am. Half an hour sounds ample - sure, except for throwing in the tiny detail of them attending two different schools halfway across town from each other and did I mention the 3 sleeping children? Much like Patton mobilizing the troops for battle - though with significantly less precision and organization, okay, not at all like Patton or the troops, and there were definitely no inspirational speeches - except for the large group of people, the similarity still holds there - wait, where was I? Oh yeah - I woke and dressed 3 children who were less than amused at being ripped from their blissful slumber and protested loudly. Changed two diapers, made a bottle for the baby. Located one missing shoe, brushed my teeth and hair and got dressed. Strapped the baby into his car seat. Strapped the preschooler into her booster. Strapped the pre-preschooler into his car seat. Located the booster for the 1st grader, put it back in the van and let him strap himself in. Grabbed umbrella. Dropped Jess off at the middle school and got Garrett to the elementary school by 8:12 am. Slightly late - but fortunate that the downpour had delayed a bus or two. When the buses are late - as long as you get there before them, no tardies. Whew. I was pretty impressed with myself (and my little bit of luck of not having to sign Garrett in for being late). Ahhhhh, hubris - but we'll get back to that a little later. Drove to the prek for Sadie and then sat there reading my book that I thought to grab on the way out while we waited 40 minutes for her school to start. Just call me Wonder Woman! (Again, the hubris thing - not much longer now . . .) There was no way I was unloading and reloading the kids after already having done so once in less than an hour, so I figured we would just park and wait and I came prepared. The rain continued to pour down. At last, after passing the time by answering Sadie's question "Is it time yet?" every five minutes, it was time to get out and take Sadie into her class. Except - it is still dumping rain and the wind is blowing so hard that is practically coming down sideways. Dilemma - do I spend several minutes with my fanny hanging out of the car in the rain unstrapping the boys and then carrying them and an umbrella with a preschooler in tow in the rain to the building and back, or do I do the bad mommy thing? Shhhhh - don't tell anyone, I left the boys in the car and ran Sadie to the school and then ran back to the car. Now, lest you feel I was going to get away with something devious or being consumed in my pride - let me assure you I was promptly put in my place by the fates or karma or more accurately, Mother Nature. (Completely off the subject here - but why do they call it Mother Nature? Surely a fellow mother would not be so cruel to a compatriot in arms - again with the military comparisons) I hopped back into the car, closed up the umbrella and pulled it into the car across my front to put on the floor beside me. BIG mistake. No, make that huge, colossal, even a monumental mistake (did I miss any synonyms there?). Though I am certain I had adequately returned the umbrella to it's closed and locked position, for some inexplicable reason just as I drew it across my lap it started to open - yes, right there in the front seat, in my lap, between me and the steering wheel. Now - this is not some lightweight, compact stow in your back pocket umbrella - oh no! I got the mega huge, walking stick when closed fit your whole family and a herd of sheep under it when open sized umbrella - and a very wet mega huge, etc etc umbrella at that. Now, as all of you are well aware - umbrellas don't open slowly, no, they open with a quick POP! and there you go. So, my mega huge mega wet wonder umbrella pops open in my lap and rain water flies everywhere. I wrestle with the beast, trying to close it, trying to minimize the water damage to little avail. My front is now completely soaked from shoulders to knees.

I drive home, very wet and very cold and feeling rather humbled. By the time I pulled into the garage - the rain had stopped.

Figures.

Spring has Sprang

2008-04-02T19:05:00.004-05:00

The rains stopped. The grass was almost instantly greener and we came home one day, pulling into our driveway and noticed flowers. Lots and lots of yellow daffodils. We stopped midway into the driveway and admired them.

About an hour after we arrived home, Sadie burst into the house with a fistful of yellow flowers. "Look mama! The flowers have springed!"

Now we admire the dark green foliage as we drive into our driveway. I was pleased however, to see a new daffodil pop open after the last bit of rain we had this week.

So, there you have it folks - the lone daffodil of spring!

This week found me recently bemoaning the fact I never had a hairy baby - this came about in a conversation Matt and I were having about getting older. I have forever and always wanted a baby with a headful of hair, coming home from the hospital with a mohawk or ponytails - one of those kids people stop you and say "Look at all that hair!". First thing I asked, every delivery - "do they have any hair?" Hopeful, ever hopeful. Always, always disappointed - at least hair wise. I made the comment that I felt certain we could have six more children and every single one of them would be just as bald as the first six. Apparently Matt's selective hearing was on, because he heard " blah, blah . . . certain . . have six more children . . . blah, blah, blah". He can jump surprisingly high for an old guy. He breathed a great sigh of relief when I assured him I had no intention of testing that particular theory out . . . (though, I did mention hearing loss as a possible sign of advanced age.)

Adam has been very similar to his older brothers in that up to now, he hasn't been much of a talker. Around the age of three they seem to suddenly develop the ability of speech and begin talking in full sentences. Always a switch to go from grunts and pointing one day to complete and coherent sentences the next. Garrett held out the longest - so much so that we actually had him evaluated by a speech therapist. She laughed merrily when my heretofore mute child suddenly launched into a dissertation on chalkboards. I found it slightly less amusing and was tempted to smack my head against the floor. Trent's primary babysitter as a toddler use to tell us when we would come home "He doesn't talk very much, does he?" Several months later this same babysitter was telling us "He doesn't ever stop talking, does he?!" So, it was no real surprise when Adam went from gesticulation and grunting for communicating, to sentences coming up on his third birthday. His first real sentence? Not so much a statement as a question or expression of disbelief - "What the heck??!!"

And that pretty much sums up how I feel most days:

"What the heck??!!"

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ADAM!

2008-03-24T20:16:00.009-05:00

We celebrated Adam's 3rd birthday today instead of yesterday (his is the 23rd). We figured it would be more fun to have a day to himself, rather than split with Easter festivities. He had a bunny cake (carrot of course!) because this is the only time in his lifetime where his birthday will actually fall on Easter Sunday. (Something like 2160 before the next March 23rd Easter!) Pictures are always more fun - so here you go!

Lots of Presents!

Thanks Nathan!

I Like Books

Fun with my Presents

Just One More to Blow Out!

Post-Dinner Wrestling

Peelings - Nothing More than Peelings . . .

2008-03-20T12:30:00.008-05:00

Okay - in all honesty, I will admit, I am not particularly attached to the wallpaper. The wallpaper in our kitchen I have no strong feelings regarding either way. However, I would prefer it to stay attached to the walls.

Just when I thought we were starting to outgrow the grafitti phase with Sadie - Adam comes up with a new developmental challenge to hearth and sanity- peeling. Adam has heard me telling Sadie that we only draw "ON PAPER" for well, years now. Her artwork having a cave drawing-ish sort of appeal. In our basement you can chronicle her development over time - the shapeless scribbles; contorted circles and other shapes; the gerbil people - amorphous looking blobs with limited facial features and then arms and legs and heads and bodies - asymmetrical, often with fingers and feet elephantine in proportion, but a person nonetheless. Once we got people down - we started drawing numbers and letters and then words. Not exactly "Kilroy wuz here" - but Sadie 4 with a backwards "S". Adam had just taken to scribbling on himself in the past few weeks. I took a deep breath and braced myself for a new crop of art to begin appearing on whatever surfaces he had a yen to decorate. Every day I looked for new ink or crayon marks. Each day that passed with no new wall art I breathed a sigh of lucky relief - thinking, hoping, maybe Adam won't be quite as prolific as his older sister. Then one day I walked into the kitchen and found a pile of scrap paper on the floor. As I bent to pick it up from the floor and transfer it to a more suitable receptacle (fancy word for trashcan) I noticed it bore a remarkably familiar pattern - varying shades of green ivy leaves and vine on a white scrubbable vinyl. Ugh. I looked and sure enough - I had a large patch of plain wall next to the fridge. Subject almost 3 year old child to the "We Don't" lecture. All lectures given to children under the age of five usually begin with "We don't" . "We don't hit" We don't stuff bread up our nose" "We don't scribble on our baby brother." "We don't <insert your verb here>" Lecture administered, I watch him like a hawk. However, at some point, the baby needs to be put down for a nap, or the phone rings, I need to change the laundry over, or pick someone up from school. Once mom's attention is diverted - even for a moment, when she returns there is a new pile of wallpaper peelings on the floor and a fresh patch of bare wall. Initially I think Matt just wanted to try patching. Now I think he is considering repapering. Myself? Personally - I am not so much a wallpaper aficionado in the first place. I'm all for peeling the rest and going with plain white like the rest of the house. Matt seems less then enthused with that idea as it will require spackle, sanding, texturizing, priming, painting and largely through his personal efforts. Fresh, new plain white walls may also prove to be even more temptation for our little budding artists in situ and we will be back to cave drawings again. I did proffer the suggestion of a chair rail and wainscoting below as a potential solution. Since Adam's vertical reach is rather limited by his age appropriate stature at the moment, this isn't that high. Though - Matthew did point out that a 4ft, 5 and 2/3rds inches high chair rail is generally not the norm. My response being "and since when is anything around here "the norm" comparatively speaking? The norm for us usually differing wildly from the rest of the world.

As any devoted artiste - Adam has his little personal quirks, one being the need to peel while scantily clad. (refer to photos) Yes - our peeling phase is occurring at the same time as our streaking phase. He is nothing if not thorough. We have a large eat-in style kitchen and he has quickly and efficiently peeled a goodly portion of it, all while wearing pretty much nothing more than a diaper, a few pen marks and a smile. Oh - and strawberry jam around the mouth acquired from lunch.

I truly hope he outgrows this phase before he ever gets a sunburn . . .

What We Do For Fun Around Here

2008-03-09T17:43:00.005-05:00

I found this interesting quiz site on the internet. There are quizzes on how much of a geek you are, chances of surviving a zombie apocalypse and this one - How Many Five Year Olds Could You Take in a Fight?

I have to admit I was very curious.

These are the results:

14

I figure that if you average out their ages - I might survive my 1 year old, 3 year old, 5 year old, 7 year old, 11 year old and almost 14 year old . . .

What do you think?

I took the Geek quiz for Matt - any surprise he came out 65% geek? I was a ladylike 35%.

My chances at surviving a Zombie Apocalypse were a paltry 31%. I had the food storage, but no weapons and a serious lack of physical ability. Run away! Run Away! See, there in lay the problem.

I should investigate further to see if they have a quiz on "How Many Mommies Does it Take to Get 6 Kids to Bed?"

There's a Chocolate Ring Around my Bathtub!

2008-02-29T14:37:00.011-06:00

Do not take your eyes off the little ones for even one second.

Obviously it is not enough to just be in the house with them.

Someone wanted chocolate milk. Someone wasn't willing to wait for or even ask mom. Someone got out a jug of milk and the large container of powdered chocolate milk mix. Someone took the large container of chocolate milk powder and dumped it all over the baby who happened to be playing happily in the middle of my pile of clean laundry at the time.

The older Someone - because No One copped to it - got sent to her room and baby ended up in the bath. The younger someone who may or may not have joined in the powdering of the baby is going through a streaking phase. I dress him several times a day before I just finally give up and just turn up the thermostat.

After lunch when I put the baby down for a nap, I gave his neck a nuzzle and found a very sweet spot behind his left ear. Tasted like chocolate . . .

Invaders From the Planet SadieBug

2008-02-26T12:32:00.008-06:00

Yesterday we were invaded. I am not quite sure how it happened, I turned my back for one second to change a poopy diaper and then there it was - an alien! Or at least, that is what she said she was, an alien. She had the antennae to prove it too.

The alien ran around the house causing all sorts of mischief as most aliens are wont to do. I had to be very careful not to become too inattentive or else this very opportunistic alien would find something to get into trouble with.

I had to stick my head in the dishwasher to find the model number so I could order a part to fix it with. While on the phone with the appliance store and trying to read the label which was applied sideways, the alien created a snowstorm! White shreds of toilet paper all over the livingroom. The boys were amazed -what a magical alien, an alien who can create white snowdrifts in the livingroom! They helped to turn the white stuff into even smaller shreds.

Little baby Nathan has been fighting an awful diaper rash for days and requires frequent baking soda baths to help soothe his poor offended skin. During bath time, the magical alien changed the color of the carpet - to glittery red gluey formerly green plush. This was after she created a special pool of hair creme for whatever alien rituals a creative alien such as herself would need a pool of hair creme to perform.

I found toys in the vaporizer in the baby's room. Most of the water from the vaporizer had mysteriously vanished from the holding tank and rematerialized in various areas, namely the top of the dresser and the floor. Sneaky alien. Apparently she needed parts for some alien invention too, because the cover to the tank and the vapor vent are now missing.

The alien joined us for dinner and enjoyed a hearty meal of Ratatouille and wild rice. She ate large helpings of tropical fruit salad. Afterward she performed gravity defying feats involving bouncing on the couch. The alien must have been too tired to return to whatever planet she came from because she fell asleep on the floor in the doorway to the little boys' bedroom.

This morning the alien woke up and must have returned home. When I put the boys in the van to make our Tuesday preschool run, the alien was gone and all I found was Sadie, sitting on the floor putting on her shoes.

She didn't even say goodbye . . .

Rolling, Rolling, Rolling - Keep those Wagons Rolling!

2008-02-19T22:49:00.005-06:00

I've had a few people ask me if I ever got the van back. When we last met - the dealership was holding the van hostage for mass quantities of homemade Minestrone. Okay, so I made that part up, but you have to admit it sounded ever so much better than they were too busy to get around to it and so took a really long time to get it done.

Really - it was only a day or two, or a week and a half longer than a month without my primary source of transportation. Was the wait worth it? Well - I kind of miss the lime green splotch of spray paint on the back helping me differentiate which identical green soccer mom minivan was mine in the parking lot at Walmart. However - I have to say it looks pretty darn spiffy and immediately pressed it back into service.

The evening I picked it up though - it didn't look or feel quite like what I remembered. The seat was not as comfy as it use to be. Probably because I was a little out of practice, it took a few days - but me and the seat are kindred spirits once again. The front end looked very odd to me and I couldn't figure what was wrong with it at first (aside from missing the big pink splotch of craft paint and not being completely caved in). The next morning it occurred to me - I use to have a bug deflector! This was literally about the only thing on the front of the van that did not break in the collision. I went back the next day to the dealership to a) retrieve my Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness ribbon car magnet, b) inquire as to where I was supposed to attach my front license plate to (new bumper - no mounting bracket) and c) request my bug deflector be reattached. I suppose I should not have been surprised to find they had tossed the deflector, said "oh yeah" about the license plate and had stuck my magnet to the wall in their shop. I mean, these are after all the people who gave me a set of keys to a loaner vehicle clearly marked "Chrysler Sebring" on the tag and actually belonged to a vehicle clearly marked "Dodge Stratus". I pointed out that their loaner vehicle was having a bit of an identity crisis and they just shrugged and said "it's the same thing - they're both white." Uh - okaaaaayyyyyy . . .

Oh the pain in having to hand over the keys to my newly reacquired van for more work! Since I had to take it back in - I asked if they would also replace the back window motor. Might as well get it fixed too right? They had four days before the scheduled appointment fully knowing what the van was coming in for. They dropped me and the two littlest boys off at Walmart, I told them I had to have it back in 2 hours and 15 minutes in order to be on time to pick up my daughter. Two hours and ten minutes after being dropped off, they call me on my cell phone and say they are ready and on their way to pick us up. I wait for 20 minutes and am now late for Sadie. (whose preschool teacher probably seriously wonders if I know how to tell time since we are usually always late). They finally show up with the van and I note two things right off the bat - there is no bug deflector on the front and my front license plate is still on the dashboard. They did nothing! They didn't order the deflector, a mounting bracket OR a window motor in preparation. I ended up having to take it back in again after the parts they required holding my van for 2 hours and 10 minutes while I wandered aimlessly around Walmart with two small children to order finally came in. With parts in hand - it took them one hour and five minutes flat to get it all done, including ferrying me and the kids back and forth between the dealership and Walmart (which are only about half a block away across the street from each other). I suppose I could have saved a fair amount of time waiting had I just walked - though the task of crossing a large busy street and then pushing up a fairly good sized hill 2 kids in a double stroller with all our groceries and dragging a 4 year old along all by my weency lonesome seemed a tad bit daunting. There was also the slushy snowy stuff all over the place issue as well. My double is a great ride - but it is not an all terrain double. Plus, I am still kind of limping around on the mangled foot and hopelessly out of shape - so that also kind of spoiled any thoughts of fresh air and exercise right there. Those who know me also know that my theory on exercise is pretty much this - I don't run unless something is chasing me and it better be pretty darn scary, because I might decide it isn't worth the effort otherwise.

So there you have it - the van is back! Round 'em up, move 'em out - yee haaaaaaaaaaa!

I should probably post a picture of the newly refurbished mode of transportation. I figure it will probably take me 1 month, 1 and a half weeks, 2 hours and 10 minutes to get around to it and will probably be a picture of Matt's Neon instead. Hey - come to think of it - his Neon still has lime green spray paint on it!

Ah yes, good times, good times . ..

A Year in the Life

2008-02-14T21:22:00.016-06:00

Happy 1st Birthday Nathaniel Bryant!

Opening presents is fun!

Piano Man

The best part of turning one is the cake!

Yum Cake!

All Clean!

Twelve months; 52 weeks; 365 days; 525, 600 minutes of baby smiles, poopy diapers, new teeth, crying jags, lullabies, walking the floor, cuddly moments, fuzzy pajamas, warm milk, binkies and blankies, first smile, rolling over for the first time, sitting up, standing up, saying "ma-ma", "da-da", "bye -bye" and "Uh-oh". Nine months growing inside of me to spend the rest of his life growing up and away . . .

Happy Birthday beautiful boy.

These sweet beautiful beginnings . . . .

How did I get here and why am I covered in Drool?

2008-02-02T14:21:00.000-06:00

I ask myself this question at least several times a week.

My 4 year old and 7 year old have held my gut lately under much speculation. Sadie keeps wanting to know if there is a baby girl in there. No, there is no baby girl in there. She has asked this question several times now. Each time, I tell her no. Finally, she asked if there was a baby boy in there. I told her no. No baby boy either. I guess she was feeling a bit unsatisfied with this answer because she then asked "Just what IS in there mommy?" Look, I am not really a vain person - but six csections and several pregnancies just doesn't leave you with washboard abs. I am the Barca Lounger of moms - plush, cushy with ample lap space. Most of the time this does not bother me. Though, I do get tired of fielding the "when are you due" queries and other variations on that theme - particularly because I ain't due or any other variations on that theme. I find that it is especially pernicious at Walmart. Why the state of my belly is public domain there, I do not know. There is one lady in particular, unfortunately a door greeter - so we see her just about every visit, who can't seem to remember me from the last time I was there (which is practically every other day - gotta love living in a small town!). She asks me the same questions every time. "You ain't having another baby are you?" "How many kids you got now?" "You're getting fixed aren't you?" I didn't know I was broken. Fortunately I am a forgiving sort - otherwise, after about the hundreth exchange of this kind I would probably let loose with a beat down. Personally, I think the lady is a bit senile - or at least working on some form of dementia marked by memory loss. She literally cannot seem to remember that we have had this conversation more than several times already. Also, the hat. She wears this bizarre craft project gone seriously awry hat perched precariously atop her head. Crazy things are always sprouting off the top of this hat and she changes the decorations often to match any up and coming holidays.

Last night I get asked by Sadie yet again - is there a baby girl in there? I think she wants a sister. Sorry kid, two tries and two boys later, I think that you are going to be baby sister-less. Garrett comes to my rescue with "No Sadie - mommy is just F-A-U, um, F-O-U-T, errr - F-O-A-T" What?? I ask him if he is trying to say "fat". When he affirms this, I ask him why he is spelling it to which he responds. "Fat is not a nice word. You always spell words that are not nice." About this time, the baby who has been sitting on my lap chomps one of my fingers with his newly acquired fangs. "OUCH!" I yelp. At this, the baby puckers up. Lower lip begins to quiver and then the tears begin. "MOM! You made him sad!" hollers Sadie. I try to explain that I am the wronged party here, proffering my mangled finger as proof. Of course they are not buying this. I am mommy and obviously no match for Nathan's pouty quivering lower lip in garnering sympathy. "Is ouch a bad word? Maybe you should spell it and he won't get sad." So now I am contemplating yelling "O-U-C-H!" next time I get bit. Fifteen years ago I wouldn't have been contemplating spelling words that were "bad". Come to think of it - fifteen years ago I could still look down and see my feet . . . .

I'll See You on the Dark Side of the Moon

2008-01-22T12:44:00.002-06:00

"Who let all this riff-raff into the room?"

I can't walk without tripping on something or someone. They scream, they yell - they run around endlessly in circles. My head hurts from the noise and I can't hear myself think. I wish I could go to the bathroom without someone following me in there. Getting them all in and out of the car is exhausting. I don't remember it being this hard before - I am getting too old for this. Kids, proof that theory and practical application are completely two different things altogether! The baby is teething again. We just barely survived the last four teeth. File this under interesting things of trivial note - Garrett's teeth are falling out almost as fast as Nathan's are coming in. Proof of entropy! I always said Garrett was going to be a physicist some day. He has always been my kid who lived the theory of equal and opposite reactions and maintaining balance in the universe (if I cleaned something up, he had to make an immediate and equal amount of mess). I should hang a sign outside our front door "Welcome to Chaos Theory".

"Comfortably Numb"

Wish I were. Today brings yet another fun and festive visit to the Physical Therapist for more stretching and strengthening of the afflicted limb. If I didn't hope to get another 40 years out of my foot and ankle, I might consider just letting it go . . . though, it being my driving foot is also cause for motivation. No kids, it is not time yet to take the keys away from mama.

Last visit, after being pulled into yet another improbable position, I let out a yelp. The therapist looked up "Oh, is that bad?" Yes, that is bad, very very very bad. Bad as evidenced by screams of pain and tears quickly coursing down ones face. Bad is also being out of Vicodin and Darvocet and anything more effective than Advil for pain while enduring torture sessions. At least I have ice - lots and lots of ice. So today I will go, grit my teeth and just focus on the bowling ball that one of their former therapy patients hot glued pennies all over during his convalescence and plot my escape. I bet if I look at the small print, the certificates on the wall will all say their therapists graduated summa cum laude from the Marquis de Sade Academy of Interrogation and Torture Practices.

Atomic Heart Mother

"Fat, Old Sun"

And if you hear as the warm night falls
The silver sound from a time so strange
Sing to me, sing to me
When that fat old sun in the sky is falling
Summer evenin' birds are calling
Children's laughter in my ears
The last sunlight disappears
And if you sit don't make a sound
Pick your feet up off the ground
And if you hear as the warm night falls
The silver sound from a time so strange
Sing to me, sing to me
When that fat old sun in the sky is falling

(Pink Floyd, "Atomic Heart Mother" 1971)

They finally sleep. Sweet angel faces that make you wonder what all the fuss was about. Make me crazy? Sure, crazy in love with them. The frustrations of the day slip away - when my kids sleep, they really know how to sleep.

Now, if I could just get my van back . . .

Wish You Were Here

Total: Totally Totaled - We're not in Kansas Anymore!

2008-01-11T10:12:00.001-06:00

Did you know Collision Centers have a "Body Manager"? Sounds a bit sleazier than it really is. Apparantly this is the person the dealership needs to operate the fax machine. Yes, the fax machine. After taking 11 days to work up the estimate, they couldn't fax the estimate to the Claims Center for our insurance company for another 11 days because, wait for it - they didn't have a "Body Manager" to do it. Much calls and frustration later, we finally just sent a field agent out to do in less than 36 hours what the dealership could not manage in more than 3 weeks.

However, it works out okay. They say the van is a total loss despite Sadie's one of a kind artwork making it a collector's piece. All the damage is restricted to the front end and mostly body. (Maybe that is why they needed the "Body Manager"? I just love saying that, and especially adding the quotes too - "Body Manager"). Slap a new radiator on the thing, add a clutch fan and duct tape the headlights back into place and we could be back on the road. Though - there may be laws governing how much duct tape you can use to hold your vehicle together. Do you think that limit is by weight or length? Hmmmmmmmmm . . .

Anywho - the really truly silly part of all this is, even after the deductible and the salvage fee that we have to pay back to the Insurance Company, we have enough to fix the silly van and continue driving it, and maybe even get a few other things fixed too. The Insurance Company had they decided to fix it instead of total it, could have come out $500 ahead of where they did the other way. Silly agents . . . brains are for "Body Managers"! Actually, we think it is all a part of a conspiracy theory to get us to buy a new car. New car = higher premiums.

Randy at the dealership is now my new best friend. He actually gave me a date when work would commence on the van and promised me a loaner on Monday. We'll see if he follows through. I wonder if he knows how to use a fax machine . ..

We Now Return You to Your Regularly Scheduled Insanity

2008-01-09T22:14:00.000-06:00

Adam ate a penny, again.

The car dealership is holding my van hostage and won't release it until they can figure out the terms for their ransom note. I can only suppose they have become emotionally attached to my vehicle and have no intentions of returning it for ransom or otherwise, since it is nearly a month since they acquired it. Kind of like a reverse Stockholm Syndrome thingy.

I started physical therapy for the foot I injured while breaking my car. The therapist told me almost gleefully "You have ZERO range of motion!" She is enjoying the "rehab" - me not so much, I am out of Vicodin. Ice I have in ample supply.

I have a six pack - wish that were abs. No, I have a six pack of kids. They are the cheetahs circling the herd and I am the weakest Gazelle in the bunch. When I was on crutches the week before Christmas (oh so fun when you're 39 and decrepit with a six pack, not abs) - they delighted in turning them into weapons and carrying them off so they were never around when I needed them. Seeing mom crawling around on the floor prompted more than one gleeful shout of "Horsie!" from my 2 year old. I probably need rehab for my back now too. Then it was "the boot" and now the "brace". The boot was heavy and clunky and made me jerk around like Lurch, but I had the use of my arms back. The brace is lighter, basic black, so goes with everything and has enough velcro on it to attach my 7 year old to the couch. I do not exaggerate - we literally velcroed Garrett to the couch. Was seriously tempted to duct tape the entire six pack to their beds for bedtime tonight. Seriously.

I made a lovely Minestrone for dinner. It was poked, prodded and eyed very suspiciously - but not ingested. All the garlic toast - nary a crumb left over. I have a gallon of Minestrone with penne rigate going seriously soggy in the fridge.

Do you think they would take a trade - the Minestrone for the van? Then I could get back to the business of driving around lots of people like a crazy woman.

How did I break the van in the first place you may ask? Driving to the post office to mail Christmas packages. In over 15 years of marriage, I have not once sent Christmas packages to my siblings. The first year I do - bitten with a large dose of Christmas spirit, I pay for it with a broken van and a mangled foot. So much for the joy of giving. Though, really, it was all Garrett's fault. No - he wasn't driving like another child (who shall remain nameless but HE**cough**trentschuck knows who he is and why he won't be getting his own car at 16) of mine did a while ago when he was 7. He just was bouncing around in the back seat not strapped in appropriately. Mom had to verify he was firmly anchored to the van. Gee, look away from the road for one measly second and someone changes lanes in front of you. The funny thing is - the van I hit was the same color and model as my own van. Guess it is true, run around enough like a crazy person and eventually you will run into yourself. This caused all sorts of confusion and distress for the insurance company and police officer on the scene who had trouble figuring out which driver belonged to which identical green van. The insurance agent who called afterward was prompted to ask, "just how many green vans were there?!" I wanted to ask if it really mattered, since the same insurance company insured both green vans - either way, they got stuck with us both! Of course the better half was out of town on a business trip. Nothing quite so festive as a trip to the ER with a seriously bored 7 year old and being told to stay off your foot for at least a few days and handed a pair of crutches - and now, Happy New Year! I still don't have a vehicle that seats even half my six pack. The last time I tried to fit three carseats in the back of Matt's Neon, the doors wouldn't close. Too bad I didn't have the foot/ankle brace then - I could've just velcroed Garrett to the seat and saved myself a lot of hassle and pain. They treated Garrett like a prince at the ER - they brought him two cans of soda, dinner, cookies and a room with a TV. Lovely, they give him sugar and me crutches . . . sadists!

Yes, the van was showing it's age too - and starting to look like the Partridge Family bus with the customized paint job rendered by my 4 year old budding artist. However, it turned on, turned off and got from point A to Walmart and back to point A again fairly consistantly and reliably. So now it is day 23 sans van. I feel like someone ripped my foot off and then stapled it back to my ankle. I sent the little ones to bed at 8, the shrieking and cacaphony died down around 10:15. Now I sit here, a quarter to 11, M*A*S*H reruns in the background, enjoying some hard earned silence - silence meaning no childlike voices to interfere with my reminiscince of being footloose and fancy free with a van that seated 8 and a foot that didn't require a mile of velcro to hold it together.

Ahhhhhhhhhhh, the good old days.

To be Continued . . .

Happily Never After

2007-12-04T22:19:00.000-06:00

I know why Rapunzel's parents locked her in a tower. Snow White's stepmother? She got a bum rap too. Cindy doing lots of chores? The parental units in these tales were dealing with little Princesses like my Sadie. If I had a tower handy, I might be tempted to lock her up there myself.

You see, if the bloodcurdling shrieks weren't enough to set you off, the mischief that small whirlwind of diva and sass and ornery could generate would be enough to leave you grateful for bedtime and when said child finally sleeps! Or make you wish for a quiet, state-run padded room somewhere far far away, and maybe in another galaxy.

Most of the time it is my sweet angel clobbering her little brothers. Now, why anyone would want to clobber those two sweet and sensitive little boys is beyond me. I could understand her taking a whack at the older two, but Adam and Nathan? Quite frankly, her behavior I would expect from the boys - not from my curly haired Princess with a capital "P". She started out okay, sweet little baby girl. Her hair started coming in red and curly, to go with her clear, clear blue eyes. Beautiful little girl. Then she turned two. She brought new meaning and extremity to the term "terrible twos". I consider myself a fairly patient woman (good grief, you have to be with half a dozen kids - either that or seriously sedated) but this pint sized wonder tries me harder than the other five combined - and I have a couple boys who are like 3 children in one. If she isn't clobbering her baby brothers - she's drawing on them. Yes, I mean literally drawing on them. With markers, crayons, pens, dry erase markers, marshmallow fluff . . . If something happens she doesn't like, like say, a time out for drawing on her brothers or painting the wall with red nail polish, she flings herself on the floor in a full body fit. Now, her older sister could throw a fit - one even lasted 3 hours over the wrong pair of pink socks once. Even at that though, she would have been no match for the ones Sadie pitches in volume or tenacity. Jessi grew out of them by the time she turned three. Sadie will be five in April and I am still waiting. Tonight she started crying because I told her to put her pajamas on for bed. Once she finally headed off to put them on, I caught her stopping by the mirror first to watch herself cry and carry on. Oh puh-lease!

We nicknamed her our little chemist. If it came in a bottle, tube, can or any type of storage container - she was more than happy to dump it. She liked to mix things together too. Usually on her bed. I threw out two sets of sheets thanks to her 'spearamentation. (She had promised me too, "No more 'spearaments mommy.") One that she managed to destroy with a full container of Cinnamon, hairspray and my favorite body wash. When she mixed them together, they hardened into something they probably could have coated the space shuttle with. Great for outer space exploration, but not so conducive for bed sheets. Parts of her rug are still sticky (and oddly cold), one part is completely bleached out, another part that is very stiff and crunchy and there is some kind of funky smell in there that I haven't been able to come up with a name for, even after a year. Though, the rug is very pretty and sparkly thanks to the gold glitter she dumped all over it. A princess just needs a gold sparkly rug I suppose.

Then there was the "Sybil Phase". I could fill a book just on that phase alone. There were at least three personalities with names - Fifi, Lola and Jasmine. Now, Fifi I could live with - she was generally somewhat pleasant, liked Shania Twain songs and fairly easy going. Jasmine was a bit of a drama queen, but there too - not too difficult to get along with either, though, she had her diva moments. Lola - now there was a girl I could happily have avoided. Lola could peel paint off the walls with her shriek. Lola was unreasonable, muleheaded, bossy and opinionated. Neither pleasant (unless she was getting her way) nor easy going. Lola was the one who also liked to run around naked. I know some kids go through a streaking phase developmentally - but Lola/Sadie did it with panache. I would run after her through the house - her doing her best Lady Godiva and me with her clothes in hand. Me yelling "come back here and get dressed!" Her "I'm sassy! I'm sassy!" One particularly trying morning I asked her "Are you Fifi or Lola today?" Her response? "I'm psycho." I kid you not. This girl has a vocabulary befitting a princess too. "Would you like some more mashed potatoes Sadie?" "Yes Mother, that would be luscious." When did preschoolers start using words like "luscious", "remarkable", "delightful", "scrumptious"? She uses words even I would have a hard time spelling, and I was an alternate for the State Spelling Bee in Jr. High. Fifi and Lola moved on at the age of three and left Jasmine behind. Jasmine hung around the longest, but eventually she agreed to being called "Sadie Jasmine" and then finally, just Sadie. I could not call her pumpkin, or Sadiebug or Ladybug, no pet names, names of endearment - that was NOT her name. Now we have to call her Sadiebug4 because that is her online name. Yes, her online name at the Care Bears and BellaSara websites. (Note, that is BellaSara as in the horse trading cards NOT the wine!) She refuses to wear pants and has not since the age of two. "Princesses, " she informed me, "do NOT wear pants."

I won't go into the pink phase - that involves personal public mortification in the women's restroom at Walmart. I think I am still trying to recover . . .

There was the tiara phase - she wore it everywhere - bed, bath and beyond. The first photos of her with her newest baby brother Nathan have her with baby in lap and crown on head. Then one day, it just disappeared, replaced by red sparkly shoes. Red, sparkly shoes go with everything - including your best church dress, so long as you wear them with fuchsia and blue plaid Care Bear anklet socks with pompoms on the back.

I had to call Poison Control on her more than once - she would eat anything, and I do mean anything - Deodorant, dish soap, lip balm, rubber bands, the list goes on. As a matter of fact, her latest infraction involves eating something one shouldn't, only this time she wasn't the one doing the ingesting. I was putting baby Nathan down for a nap and heard choking, coughing and gagging. Ran out to find Adam with both hands up to his mouth coughing and gagging rather hard. I pulled his hands out and watched to see if he would get it up or it would go down or I would have to perform some sort of maneuver on him. Whatever it was finally went down and I asked Sadie what he had in his mouth. She smiles sweetly and opened her fist to reveal several pennies and said in her best angelic tone, "a penny". "You're not supposed to eat pennies." I said in my best mommy voice. She gave me this look that seemed to say "I just GAVE him the pennies, it was totally HIS prerogative to EAT them." Sure enough, the ER confirmed by x-ray his net worth had increased by one cent.

Sadie turns 5 in April. All I have to say to her future kindergarten teacher is "Be frightened, be very, very frightened."

Maybe her teacher will have a tower handy . . .

To Sleep, Perchance to Dream

2007-11-26T09:34:00.000-06:00

Whoever coined the phrase "sleep like a baby" must not have had kids, or had a very sick sense of humor. I say this because I have kids and currently have a baby, and sleep is not an activity I am familiar with. I haven't had a full, uninterupted eight hours since 1994. June 29, 1994 to be precise. (For those of you unfamiliar with my family - that particular date would coincide with my oldest child's birthdate.)

I've read that not sleeping for long periods of time can lead to hallucinations, slow response time, spaciness, delirium, among other things - that in fact, sleep depravation was akin to being inebriated. This could explain a lot. No, I'm not drunk - just tired! Very, very, very, very tired. I'm cranky and tired. I love my baby - I really do, I just really wish he could sleep for more than 30 minutes at a stretch. Now, in his defense - he has a lot going on right now - teething, a cold, constipation . . . Personally, I'd rather sleep all of that off, but that's because I am an adult now and I can fully appreciate the value of sleep. In fact, as I am sure any teenager will attest - sleep can cure anything. I tell my kids to take a nap - I wish I could. They want to bounce on their beds, they want to watch tv, they want to run around in circles and yell and re-enact the Battle at Bull Run. Me? I want to examine the insides of my eyelids. I've forgotten what they look like. I don't dare lie down and sleep myself unless they are sedated and tied to their beds. If I close my eyes - who knows what disaster will lay before me when I open them again.

One of my children would only sleep in his carseat or on me. If he was in the carseat - the car had to be moving. Fortunately he outgrew that after about 13 months, but every now and then, I have to be careful where I step in the middle of the night on the way to the bathroom. I might step on him, or his brother sleeping on my bedroom floor . . . then there is the other brother, the aforementioned teething, sniffly, constipated baby. He started sleeping through the night about a month ago. I was so happy! Then he started teething about 2 weeks later. Then he got the cold a few days ago - about the same time the pooping ceased. I fixed the latter with a little banana and yogurt juice - yay! We have poopage! A little baby acetaminophen for the teething and fever and . . . . I . . .. think . .. he's . . . . going . . . to . . . sleep . . . .. . . shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Tiptoe to the bedroom, carefully slip him into his bed. Make sure the pacifier is in place. Make sure the back up pacifier is in his hand. Make sure the back up, back up pacifier is in his other hand. Make sure the spare emergancy binky is next to the bed so mom can grab it in the middle of the night. I slide into my bed. Close my eyes . . .. SCREAM! Wait a minute, see if it will go away . . . nope, not happening. Get up, shush the baby, plug the baby, bundle baby in blankie. Baby is drifting off again . . . . wait a minute. Tiptoe back to bed, climb in and get comfy. Close eyes and . .. . SCREAM! Repeat this 5 times every 30 minutes until 6 am. At 6 am, the baby will fall asleep and stay asleep and you will finally find your bliss in time for the alarm to go off.

I'm too old to take a nap, and too young to not still need one . . .

***Originally posted September 21, 2007